To Hold Time & To Leave Behind

Ever thought what it would be like to hold time in your hands?

This morning, I did. 

After reading my morning's devotion in Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts I realized that God has bestowed upon me a wonderful gift. 

Time. 

It wasn't that it just fell into my lap.  Nor did I just stumble across it. Getting to where I am now was through a decision to follow a calling.

A call to leave behind.

And it took me a year to figure this out.  

Our culture and media propagate this notion that the busy life is the full life.  If you are at work early, stay beyond midnight, have no time for sleep, friends or family, with the exceptional mid-day drinks, then you are living the high life.  The big time.  

You have... wait for it... arrived.

Then, why, may I ask, are many of these on acid reducers, antidepressants and 5 hour energy drinks?

God has called me into opposite land:  
a calling to leave behind the rat race.

Granted for my Type-A personality, it has been hard to leave unfinished business behind.  It has been hard to face forward and start all over again.  It is hard to be slow.

It's like God sat me down beside His quiet waters and said "Stay!"  He wanted to show me something.  

But, my Type-A personality says "Go!!"  Do this, and that and faster and better...and... AND!

He's had to find me and sit me back down more times than I'd like to admit.

Alas, seated, my eyes catch hold of the things that bring me joy:
my doggies...
flowers off the rose bush I thought I killed finally blooming...
the golden sun of the skies...
soft green grass like that of a meadow when I'm used to the brown crunch a dried up stalk brings... 
my husband home and his jubilance...
and...

AND my heart cultivates new soil; the soil of thankfulness.

Ann Voskamp felt this too.  

In her book, One Thousand Gifts, she struggles to keep it all together. As the wife of a farmer and the mother of six children, she wanted and needed more time.  Ann soon realized that to enjoy each moment was to cultivate a heart of thankfulness, writing down everything that came to mind; a list of one thousand things.  

She, too, soon realized she had the gift of time.

"Giving thanks for one thousand things is ultimately an invitation to slow time down with weight of full attention...  I can slow the torrent by being all here."*

I've tested her theory.

And she's right on.

Being thankful does, in fact, allow time to slow; 
permitting what brings great joy to illuminate... 
transcending the ticking of seconds; 
a passport to being fully engaged in the moment where one can actually embody and behold each moment.  

To hold time.

Whereas the rat race speeds through each moment, panting, worried, striving for more and more and more.   

It has taken me a year to realize that God wanted my time.  

He wanted me to lay down the rat race to give me Himself.
Himself in time.  

Himself realized through thankfulness.

What a precious gift.  

Tears flow as I realize His revelation before my eyes.  

My puppy [ok, she's full grown, but she'll always be my pup] darts over with eyes of worry.  "What's wrong, Mommy?"  [True, I don't have kids, so these are mine]. 

My heart tilled with seeds of thankfulness embraces this tender moment.  "I'm ok, Bear."

And time stood still.  

I stand amazed.  

Just last night, my husband and I were talking about how we could both use 26 hours in our day.  Just 2 more hours and we'd be set.  

Truth be told, even at 26 hours we'd probably realize we really needed 28, then 32, then we'd end up wanting just one day to be forever long.

And maybe it is.

A different perspective could be that our entire life is really just one day on God's timeline.  That our twenty-four hours is just a cycle which we go through and all of our lives fit into what eternity deems as a day.  Kind of spreads out the panic of daily tasks, doesn't it? It will get done when it gets done.

But however eternity calculates the length of a day, God is in charge of time and He will equip us to get us to where we need to go.  Wouldn't any loving parent do the same for their child?  

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose," Philippians 2:3.**

So, find rest in these words and find yourself beside His quiet waters.

For the gift of time is also His gift to you.  

AND...

Start your list of things you are thankful for and see what happens.
You might just be amazed.

You might just hold time too.




Today's message was inspired by a gift a dear woman gave to me recently [ya think God is trying to tell me something?] 
Check it out here:  One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
http://www.aholyexperience.com/
I've also put the book in my store, posted on the menu on the right--> 

References:
*Voskamp, Ann M. One Thousand Gifts. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010.   p. 68-69.  
**Baker, Warren.  The Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible, New International Version.  Chattanooga:  AMG Publishers, 1996.

Content and Photography ©  Candice Irion, 2014.

Life through The Lens: Letting Go and Finding Grace in Rare Places

I love the morning sunlight.  It is crisp and warm.  It soothes the onset of a new day.  It beckons me out of the bed and into what I need to do.

The light welcomes me. 

Especially in the Fall where the golds and greens abound; colors illuminating against the blue ceiling.  

There are no clouds today.

It was perfect to sit amidst the wonder listening to the birds chirp and the church bells chime.  Wonderful.  

To see the puppies bounce and sniff and wait… they aren’t going to the—-

NO!!!!

Houdini, the name I’ve nicknamed my eldest dog as she can get out of anything.  

Lock up?  Forget it. She’ll figure out a way and even use her sister’s muscle power for her advantage then leave sister behind.  

Ask me how I know.

A brief scolding and then relief when they listened to my command, I ventured back into the wonder.

When, stop.

Three little new springs have sprung in the space where the leaves damaged the grass.  New life in the ruins? 

I’ve learned a bit about trees reseeding themselves living in the jungles of my current abode.  Never have I witnessed tree growth as I do here.  It’s quite amazing.  

I looked around to see what the new tree might be.  Not too far stands a crate myrtle proud.  I looked down at the sprigs.  Yup.  Three sprigs and all.  It’s a baby crate.  I love these trees.  

                                                                                                              © Candice Irion Photography

A verse seized my heart.

“I will make a way in the wilderness 

and rivers in the desert,” 

Isaiah 43:19.

“Thank you, Lord,” my heart mustered.

Trying to practice a heart of gratitude, this was a good step in the right direction.  

But the three little sprigs surged a new idea.  Capture it.  

I debated the time, the energy the…

Well, why not?

Off to get my camera.

Any photographer will tell you that while the body of what captures the photos is important, it is the glass that one sees through that is critical.  If you have low grade glass, then your photo won’t have all the bells and whistles and what makes it all it can be. 

The Lord brought such a fine grade glass into my life recently and with a challenge:

to internally see myself through this glass 
and not through my eyes.  

Not my past.

Not my hangups, hiccups or harrowing-did-I-really-say-or-do that??

Nope.

But through the glass of… grace?

Not through what I’ve left undone?  What I should have or should not have completed?  Not through all my lacks and false lusters?  

Simply through a high grade glass that He sees you and me through.  Grace.

As many a woman will tell you, self criticism and battles with failure are at the top of her daily greatest hits (but we all hate) chart.  I am such that gal.

Producing something perfect sends me to the moon.  Who doesn’t enjoy this?  But when it isn’t just right, I adjust, I tweak, I do anything but leave it the heck alone.

I need to leave myself the heck alone.

I saw a video recently that has a lot of impact as it reveals to women that they are their own biggest critic when everyone else sees them as a beautiful person.  Check it out.  

“We see ourselves as harsh and unbecoming, when in reality that’s not how the world sees us,”
And may I add…

That’s not how God sees us.

So the challenge to see myself differently came with other lists.  

To forgive myself for all the small things and the big things.

To let go of the things that I condemn myself over.

And…

To

Move

Forward.  

I’ve started posting index cards with Scripture around my house.  Places that my eyes bounce upon when I open the fridge, do the dishes, wake up in the morning.  

Scripture that breathes new life in the desert places in my soul.

Words of truth that I can trust.

Words that cheer me forward instead of remind me of the past….

…that closet of memories that I try to slam shut and lock, but like my Houdini of a dog, they find their own way out and LOUD into my thoughts.  

Speaking of which, did I tell you I’m a hoarder?  

I actually like to call it: “being resourceful”.  “Being prepared.”  

Sure.  The boxes piled high and tipping over will tell you the same thing.  (:  

I think it’s time to go to Hoarders Anonymous and proclaim:  “Hi, I am a hoarder.”

And what is external likely falls across the board internally.

I am also a hoarder of my past. 

It entangles me all of the time like the countless boxes I tend to keep so that when I have to, I’m ready to move.  But somehow, I’m not moving anywhere soon.

Ironic that I hoard boxes to pack things in, to physically move but internally, I need to let go of what’s inside of these boxes to figuratively move forward.  

Isn’t irony sometimes greatness?

So, will the boxes really get gone soon?  Literally?  My vote is no on that.

However, internally…

What must happen now is the letting go, the forgiveness and the diligence to see myself how God sees me….  through His glass.  Not mine.

So watch this.

When my eyes see the Scripture cards, it breeds new thoughts.  New life.  

When my mind’s eye looks around the room of me, it breeds old thoughts.  Death.  Lies.  Hurt.

So then I capture these thoughts of self condemnation and criticism.  I hold them up to the glass of grace.  I realize the lies.  For in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation.

What about the I’m no good at, I’m not… etc., etc., etc.,   You can pretty much bank that these are lies too.

Which draws my conclusion.

My thoughts can lie.  But the truth does not.  

My eyes see one thing.  God’s glass of grace sees another.

My mind and heart will lie to me.  God does not.

So, if we are to retreat from the scolding and return into the wonder, let us fill our lives with the warmth of the truth.

The hope that beckons us out of bed in the mornings.

The light that welcomes us. 

And let us move forward, fixing our eyes upon the thing things that propel us onward, not ensnaring us to hoard into our past thinking.  

Let us be mindful to see through the glass of grace.

And let go.  Be free.

Let us see through the high grade glass, steady, and SNAP.

Capturing the new life before us; the living admits the dessert.

Little sprigs of a beautiful wonder that He created.  

Wonderfully divine.  

You.  

Me.  

Us.  

And let us live each moment in thankfulness, that which spurs on the new and reveals the old.

For it is only through this glass that we can truly see that which we already behold. 

"I praise you because I am fearfully 

and wonderfully made," 

Psalm 139:14.

© Candice Irion Photography

"See, I am doing a new thing! 

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? 

I am making a way in the wilderness 

and streams in the wasteland," 

Isaiah 43:19.

Put to death, therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature, Colossians 3:5.

You used to walk in these ways in the life you once lived, Col. 3:7.

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things, Col. 3:8.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves, Col. 3:12.

With grace…  because…

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...
...because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death, Romans 8:1-2.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…  

…Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God,” Hebrews 12:1-2.

Content and Photography, © Candice Irion, Candice Irion Photography.
Scripture References are from the New International Version, AMG Publishers, AMG International 1996.