An Awe-Full Perspective Shakes the Sting of the Bad

"That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God," (Ecc.3:13"

"He has made everything beautiful in His time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end," (Ecc. 3:11).

These verses really helped me to shift my perspective on some things and I thought I'd share.

When we look at our lives, taking all the good with all the bad, it is hard to imagine that the bad stuff could possibly be beautiful.

But when we look at verse 14, we see something interesting and hard for man to fully understand.  "God does it so that men will revere Him."

Thus, are we to say that when we encounter horrific circumstances that these are beautiful?  We probably would not.  Wouldn't we humans instead say that these times are terrifying!  Devastating!  Sheer awful?

When I look at the stuff I've encountered, can I say it was beautiful?  Well, at first glance, I see a major mess; one that nearly killed me.

But, holding onto the above Scriptures and glancing again, I find something new.

I find that the beauty lies in what God did with 

the horrible, the devastating, the sheer awful.  

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose," (Rom. 8:28).

I look at how God took the bad that was done to me and the bad/stupid things I've done to others and am amazed at how He's redeemed both.

I remember praying so hard for the bad being done to me to turn around and go a different direction.  When I didn't get what a pleaded, it was really hard to take.  But since, I've experienced how He's changed things around for a better that I never even knew existed.

I've also seen how He's taken circumstances where I was in the wrong, where I did bad/stupid and have witnessed how He worked it out.

In the midst of both circumstances, I couldn't see how God was going to work anything good of it, which thus, leads me to issue an all out: WARNING!

**If you are currently in a pit of despair, you may hate everything I'm saying.  I get that.  Like you, I have had times in my own pit.  And pit-view is anything but: "It's sunny on the other side, come and see.  Things do get better."  Far from it!!!

So, I issue a disclaimer:  Please know that seeing "the better" came much farther down the road; years and years after my pit-time.  While I was in my pit, I just wanted my prayer to be answered the way I wanted it to go.  Granted, I did pray for God's will to supersede my own and that it did.  Then, it took me a while to accept God's will and move forward.   It took me even longer to see what God had in store and develop a heart of "thank you for showing me what you did."  I still don't prefer how/what happened but, I know that I saw God act dramatically in that time and am thankful for how He carried me through.

So, hold off on this reading this post if it doesn't don't fit where you are on your timetable.  If these words resound and encourage your heart, then great.  If not, set them aside for when is best for you.**

That said...

When I go back to Ecclesiaties and read Solomon's words of: "finding satisfaction in all His toil" and "all things are beautiful in their time" my heart is encouraged to shift my perspective in what I view as negative and re-perceive it through the lens of God's beauty in it all.

So, let's do this together.  

Make a list (either a mental or a physical one) of all the bad that has occurred in your life.  Then counter it by the blessings that have come out of the bad.  When I do this, I gain a better view of the beauty God is crafting.  How'd it work out for you? 

If you need another take on it, try Joyce Meyer's Beauty from Ashes, one of my favorite books.  It is a must read, especially in "Pit-time".  The book is based out of Isaiah's 61st chapter and if you haven't read this chapter, it is a wonderful representation of what Christ does for each of us.  Let's read a portion of it: 

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 

to proclaim freedom for the captives 

and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor 

and the day of vengeance of our God, 

to comfort all who mourn, 

and provide for those who grieve in Zion--

to bestow on them a crown of beauty 

instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness 

instead of mourning 

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair..." 

(Is. 61: 1-3)

Now, let's return to Ecclesiastes 3 and read the first part of the passage, pausing frequently to apply each phrase to our own lives, adding examples where you can.  I.E. "A time to tear down and a time to build.  I remember this time in my life when God and I had tear _______ down.  I remember when God and I built _______."  Give it a go and see.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.  

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

When I apply both passages to my life,  my new perspective forms an even deeper root.  I can now go a step further to say... "Ok.  God, when we through XYZ, that was beautiful because it was with You, and what You did with it.  Hm... Wow." (At this moment, you may or may not be able to take this step, nor want to.  That's ok, for right now.  However, if you are, then that's great too.  We've all gone and will go through both.)

For it seems that God has carved out a specific time for us to travel with Him down each of these seasons of life.  Thus, instead of repelling the bad season because it is bad, let us try to accept it and instead, focus on what God did through it.   Doing this will help our hearts shift from having an awful perspective to having an awe-full perspective. 

And living in this awe-full perspective will continually help adjust our viewpoint of the bad, especially when the bad is staring at us head-on (not just in hindsight).  We will then be able to march forward understanding that somehow, He will make all things beautiful in their time.

"All Things Bright and Beautiful"

One of my favorite Hymns

"Turn! Turn! Turn!"

An old fav by The Byrds

"All This Time" 

A goodie by Britt Nicole

Rediscovering Acceptance

Dear Friends,

Today's blog comes by style of a letter as I wanted to write each of you on a more personal level.  

Recently, I've found myself in an old familiar territory; a place I have traversed upon at times in this life, with each time enjoying a heightened invigoration of a new breath of fresh air.  I have rediscovered acceptance.

Many of my posts have been rooted out of eye witness experiences during life's tumultuous storms.    But now I write from a different perspective; from life after the storm, where the air is fresh, the sun is bright and the birds chirp louder than ever.   It feels good.

I pen these words for two reasons, the latter being the more important.  First, I write to say that acceptance can be found as I've found it myself, praise be to God.  Second, my hope and prayer is that you are able to find it too.

What exactly is acceptance in one's life?  The best I can describe it is in the act of simply saying "ok" to God.  For me, its when I finally stopped fighting for my will and said "ok" to His.  While I've often tried to take every step to follow His will, there is a part of me (and likely all of us) that have a pre-determined mindset of how things should play out.  I like my plans.  But when they go South.... grrrr!  

Acceptance took root the moment I surrendered those plans.  Course, I've done this a million times before... so what was the difference now?  I think I finally decided to let go of the plans and NOT TAKE THEM BACK.  I'm not going to try to burst onto God's scene and be in charge of God's plan for me.  I created a new boundary that pretty much said: "No more fighting.  It is what it is and I'm ok with it.  I accept it."  

At this moment, wouldn't you know a calm came over the storm?  The command "peace be still" was felt.

From this process of trusting, obeying, surrendering, then finding acceptance, also came hope: a new friend that I'd like to keep around for a while.  Now, a new spark exists in my step.  My mind is more freed up.  The ability to give and receive is there in greater force.  The outlook on the future is a whole light brighter too.  

See, its when we finally let go of something that has wanted to be free but instead clung onto, that we realize we were really hindering ourselves all along.  I liken it to an insect that when caught continually stings you until you let it fly to where it wants to go. 

I had to also take that stance with some of my previous outlooks.  I had to say to these mainplayers:  its time for you to go.  I'm tired of this.  Course, they didn't want to leave the party.  They were having too much fun.  A hay day if you willl.  But, I kicked them out and locked the door.  They tried the 'ol hoist the door down with a log (like in old times).  But, with the power of God, the door stood firm and they soon tired out, limping along their way back to wence they came. 

I also had to address the sideline numbskulls of Settling and Compromise.  These morons wanted to ridicule and chide me.  But, God showed me that when we accept His will as it is, we have chosen the best option.  There is no settling for less in choosing God's will.   There is also no "you compromised yourself" or "you sold out" when you accept His plan over your own.  If God has deemed something in your life, it is imperative that you move forward in that direction.   Thus, Settling and Compromise also got the 'ol heave ho, joining the others out the door.

Another thing that I had to adjust to... I had to get used to my thorn, my lot in life and I had to accept my own weaknesses in where I fall short.  I had to stop and listen to what these were.  For any Type-A personality, stopping is no easy task.  We are doers!  And its when I finally did this that I found the grace and acceptance to move forward, preservere on and rest in God's strength.  

Above all, I really hope that you find the same as well.  As believers, one of our blessings is the realization that when there is purpose in our sufferings, it is as though all is not lost.  Thus, I count it a joy to share these findings with you.  My sincere hope is that you too may discover the wonders of a life in a acceptance to God's plan.  

You might have experienced loss in the forms of:  Difficulty.  Drama.  Divorce.  Death.  Depression.  Disappointment.  Defeat.  Devastation... is there a reason all these woes start with a D?  Dang.

Whatever your situation is, please know that you are in a season... which at some point, will pass.   I don't know how long it is, but I do know that there is a moment where the clouds do part, the sun does shine and as disbelieving as I've been to even think that the sunshine would ever exist for me again... it did.    

Below is a link to a song that really helped me years ago when I found myself in a deep, dark passageway.  

"Jesus, Draw Me Nearer" 

© Keith and Kristyn Getty

I bid you well and Godspeed.  May your day, either rainy or full of sun, be one where you too find a new breath of fresh air.

As I hear the birds chirp outside, 

I stand in awe of the One who constantly stands by my side.  

With Him will I continue on, as He leads, 

for His grace is continually sufficient for me.  

Air on the wings of the wind shall I fly.  

Low in the fields, at times, shall I abide.  

But whether I am high above, or down below, 

I know the hope when acceptance coincides.

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want...."  (Phil 4:12)  Click here to find the secret.

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe," (Eph. 1:18-19).

"My grace is sufficient for you.  My power is made perfect in weakness," (2 Cor. 12:9). 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God," (2 Cor. 1:3-5).

Blessings,

Candice

© Candice Irion.

Want to know the step-by-step way I found acceptance? 

1.  Trust:  I recognized that God was in control.  Not me.  Not I.  I had to trust His ways in how things turned out because I really was frustrated about it.  

Is. 55:8  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord."

2.  Obey:  I had to apply this trust and follow through by saying "Ok, God.  It's not MY way.  It's NOT how I would have done it.  But what is my way, anyway?  For it is YOU who knows, reasons, understands better."  

3.  Surrender:  Then, taking this step of obedience a step further, I had to not just say "Ok," but also lay down my way, placing it on God's altar and taking not just a step back, but removing myself far, far out of the way, to where I couldn't return to snatch back my will.  I had to leave it on the altar for God to do with it as He wills.  

4.  Acceptance:  After laying out my will and letting go of what I wanted, I found the freedom to re-look at God's will and again say: "Ok.  It is as it is."  I didn't have to fight so hard.  I could take things as they come instead of demanding life be my way.  

5.  Hope:  Maybe the best step of the list as it is both a marker of progression as well as a catalyst to instill more trust for journeying through steps 2, 3 and 4 on a continual basis.  Hope is the sweet spot of renewal.  It is the point where you can both look back and look forward; being at peace with all sides.  

Most especially, hope is when you can look to God with a heart of gratitude for His comfort, guidance and never letting us go, that you can fully know the dark passage has lifted.  Sunny days are ahead.  

Whatever the step we find ourselves, may God forever be praised.

Copy content, Poem and Photo © Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.

Valentine's Day: Lover or Hater?

Today is a day that gets mixed reviews.   I know there are times where I’ve loved it.  There are times when I’ve been a hater.  There have times when it has started out great and ended up flat or just completely awful.  All around, there is too much pressure!

I will say this.  Though some find this day as hurtful and 24 hours that rather not be spent alive, it is within all of our capacities to utilize our own hearts and tell someone how you appreciate them. 

Just as much as we need to be loved, we also need to love.  

So whether it is your cube buddy, your family member, your co-worker, the lunch lady, the janitor, reach out and thank them.  Draw them a smiley face and/or give some chocolate.   Be creative.

If you have an extra measure of bravery, share the love with someone who hasn’t been so nice to you.  Maybe when they aren’t looking, drop something on their desk or if it won’t backfire on you, say something nice to them in person.  Keep it simple. 

Above all, just know that the feeling of love goes both ways.  We can generate feelings of love within ourselves just by sharing love with another.  And, when our focus isn’t on our own day, but on making someone else’s better, some of the sting is taken off and the day is survivable, maybe even fun. 

Heck, even the cashier at the store or pharmacies could use a pick-me-up.  I wonder how much stuff they watch others purchase but never have someone purchase something for them?  Today is a day you could impact a complete stranger in a profound way.  You could even offer to pray for them if the Spirit so leads.

On that note, maybe spend some time loving on God.  Sit down and have that Bible study you’ve been meaning to do but haven’t.  Spend time in prayer and tell God how thankful you are for who He is and all that He has done.  Thank Him for His great love in sending His Son to die on a cross for you and I.   What a gift of love!  

Perhaps if you've suffered a loss and today represents a hurtful reminder of them, maybe do something in their honor.  Or if you've lost for other reasons, maybe find some time to love on yourself and the wonderful person you are.  

Other ideas for Valentine's: 

Gather up some girlies for girls night or guys for a macho man night.

Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. 

Talk to a family member.  Tell them they are the best in the world. 

Volunteer.  Homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and animal rescues could use some love.

Give blood. 

Take flowers to a cancer center, a retirement home, a prison.

Go visit an elderly neighbor, a widow, a person who’s spouse is away, separated, divorced or someone who you suspect might be having a tough day. 
Give an extra nice tip to the waiter/waitress.  You know they've been dealing with all kinds of people today! 

Take your kids to their favorite activity or favorite restaurant.

Give your pet their favorite treat.  Play games. 

Watch a movie or do a movie marathon. 

Above all, we are made to love and to be loved.  We have the ability to take love in and give love out.   Even Scrooge learned to love. 

So, if you find yourself alone today, know all is not lost on Valentine’s.   It can still be a great day and I hope that it is for you.

Blessings,

Candice

“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love,” (1 Corinthians 13:3 NKJV).

When Backwards is Really Forwards

Many of you know that my love of pottery has been recently rekindled.  I just about relish in every moment of it. 

My first of the collection

One of my favs

The other night, I was sitting at the potter’s wheel.   I wasn’t in my normal spot, mind you, but in a new one.  I was sitting in a class with a teacher over my shoulder.

When I started opening the clay into a pot, my teacher leaned over and noticed maybe the most pivotal observation. 

“Are you left handed?” she asked.

“I am, in fact, both handed... maybe that explains some things,” I said tongue and cheek. 

She chuckled for a moment and then looked again.  She noticed how much force I was using to open the pot up and mentioned that my wheel might be going in the wrong direction. 

“Huh?” I was stumped. 

“See, some potters find it easier to have the clay moving out of their hands instead of moving inward,” she said.  “They find that their fingers don’t knick the clay (ah ha!) and it is less of a fight.”

Hmm... my white knuckles were evidence enough.   I have been fighting. 

“Ok, let’s try it.”

So, with one flip of the power plug, the wheel turned in the opposite direction.  For a moment I didn’t know what to do with myself.  Where do I put my hands?  How does this work?  It was like my eyes were playing tricks on me.

But, I put my hands in place and gave it a whirl.  Wouldn’t you know… it worked!

It was easier too.  The pot was more balanced.  I didn’t have to fight. 

As she further explained the benefits, I looked up at her and said: “There is a life lesson in this.” 

I went on to think: “Yup! Here’s the next blog post.”

Since that time, I’ve thought and prayed over where I’ve been applying so much force in my life and getting nowhere, that if I just turned my wheel around, per se, I’d actually move forward. 

Granted, I had no clue “my wheel” was spinning in a direction that was causing a hindering issue in the first place.  I had to be shown that.  I had to then listen, heed and follow. 

I also had to be ready.  So many times in life, don’t we all wish we had known then what we knew now?  It’s quite a study to look back and say: “I can see how that answer came now, because I wasn’t ready, or didn’t have the ears to hear it then.”

Scrutinizing where we are fighting so hard in our lives also reveals some other interesting revelations.  

Many times, when we fight for a goal, project, person and find zero results we count those as flat out failures.  I know I’ve hung my hat for so long at what didn’t work out, what I did wrong, etc., etc., etc.  However, I feel that God’s Spirit showed me something different. 

He revealed that for me to move forward, I needed to change my wheels of thought in an opposite direction.  I needed to go “backwards” if you will.

So, ok.  Let's both change the plug around and re-assess.

Here are two principles that God brought to mind.

1.     Results aren’t the score-card of success in life, but how God chooses to redeem and orchestrate the situation is the winning ticket to grab onto.

2.     God measures us not by our results but by our response to His calling and His will.  Are we obedient to follow Him?

Romans 8:28, NIV: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Philippians 2:13, NIV:  “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose."

He instructed me to take these versus, rework my assessment and this time, measure in the light of eternity instead of how the world measures. 

So let’s take what plagues our hearts and hold it up to the light. 

For me, my question was:  “God, I felt I obeyed you and then landed flat on my face.  You lead me to failure.  Faith in you didn’t work.” 

In the light, it changed to: “God, I felt I obeyed you and your will was different than what I wanted.”  

From this point, I could finally recognize that just because it didn’t work the way I wanted it to go, it didn’t mean that I should count it as a complete wrong on my part or that I utterly failed.  I could no longer look at the obvious result of the situation and firmly claim was all my fault, deserved it or whatever and should hang my hat on it.  Nor should you. 

In addition, we have to recognize that the reason the results turned out how they did may have very little to do with us.  God’s purposes and reasons are so far beyond what we can comprehend, that we have to trust Him with the outcome, because He is the one in control.  Not you.  Not me.   And when it comes down to it, the results ought to really be about Him anyway.  Not you.  Not me. 

For He alone is Sovereign, over everything; seeing from before the creation of time to beyond the end of time.   He has an entirely different perspective all together:  He has an eternal perspective.

So, if we take on that same perspective, we will also be able to more fully see that God will use all things for His purposes.   Applying this concept to how we measure previous results will also enable us to look at the results (what didn’t work out) in the opposite regard:  as actually working out in the end.

But also in the light of eternity, the question shifts from a focus on the results to focusing on our response.

And that leads us to…. Surrender. 

The bottom line here is what did we do with the opportunity or event that was presented before us?  Did we surrender by saying:  God, whatever you want; not my will, but yours? 

Or did we plunge forward pursuing what we thought would satisfy, bring self-approval and fill ourselves with what never truly fulfills? 

Where do you fall with these two questions?

No matter where you land on this spectrum, all of us find ourselves taking baby steps to regain trust, obey and surrender.  So, no matter what your answer is, you are in good company.  

Just try to take the progressive step to trust God with the outcome.  Trust His promises, faithfulness and then step out in faith and obey.  Then take the step to surrender to do His will, not your own… (all of which are serious toughies!). 

After surrender, then comes another toughie…. Acceptance.   When the parts of us want to shout: God’s will is this????  We can counter with “Yes.  In the light of eternity, it will all make sense when we see Him again.”  

It’s in this acceptance of God’s will that we will find peace.  Through the progressive acts of trust, obedience, surrender and acceptance there comes a soothing comfort, especially when we fall upon the knowledge of how God truly measures us and that He is faithful the whole way through.  He can be trusted with the results. 

Learning these foundational principles has been an extremely hard road to travel upon.   But, when I learned to spin my wheel backwards, I have, indeed, found the hope to move forward.  My knuckles weren’t nearly as white and I didn’t have to fight so hard.

May it be for you as well. 

Blessings,

Candice

***P.S.

Undoubtedly I must say, this poses further questions to those who have lost loved ones in any manner, as well as for those who’ve experienced tragedy in accidents, harm from another, miscarriages, catastrophic events, an unwanted divorce, and so many more.   I’m sensitive to the recipients of the words above because I’ve been in dramatically hurtful circumstances and wanted to punch every well-intended person who said: “God has a plan.”  THUNK!!! (There it is in virtual form.)

In fact, I’ve been on both sides of this table.  I’ve been the person who has suffered and the person who has said something in efforts to help when I brought a lot of harm.  Please, Christians especially, watch your words and your TIMING!!!!

So, please take the words above from one who does not know or even imagine your personal situation.  I only speak from my heart out of my own circumstances.  I don’t know how you get out of your pit, I can only relay what I learned to get out of mine.

Thus, when I say I have to surrender what I count as losses on my behalf and look at it from a different perspective, I’m really saying that God is showing me something new that brings healing to me.  I share it with you in hopes that it can be a source of comfort and encouragement in your journey as well.***

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God," (2 Cor. 1:3-4, NIV).

Blog content and photos © 2014 Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.