Release Into the Wild

You're standing at the banks with the fish you just caught in your hand.  You did it.  It's a proud moment.  But the fish, flops, this way and that fighting to get back to the wild.  Evidently, slippery is still the fish's main style.  Since you are the only thing keeping it from it's objective, you are going to be what it struggles against.  That brings up a good point.  

What about you? You were the one to toil and strive to catch this-exact-fish.  It's yours.  All yours.  You spent the time; your labor and you have your plans.  So what are ya gonna do?

If there is something I've learned the hard way, it's to cut my losses before they cut me.  If I'm in a situation that is flopping all around (like the fish), then it's obvious, a choice of direction must be made.  

If it's looking like the harder you try to maintain control over a situation, or something, and the more out of control things get, then it might be time to cut your losses and move on.  Plainly said, if your fish is flopping like crazy, you may have to chalk it up to a catch and release type situation.  

However, on another note, at some point, the fish will lose oxygen.  It will die.  But, it's whether the fish finagles free before it's impending death is the question.  Will it make it back to the waters? Who knows how it will play out?  But someone will lose; either it will be the fish or it will be you. 

I liken this scenerio to a couple of situations that have happened to me.  The first situation involved a relationship.  It was rocky from the get-go and the more I tried to iron it out, say it would be ok, the pressures kept mounting and the fights kept erupting.  The situation then backfired all over my face and I was blamed for everything.  Looking at this from an aerial point of view, I see how this situation was like my fish.  It needed to be let go way before I even realized it was time.  My losses eventually cut me; not me cutting my losses.  In fact, I think this fish never really was a fish, but rather a shark in disguise for it bit my hand as it flopped its way back from which it came.  The whole thing almost killed me, but in the end, I thank God because that fish turned shark was no bueno.

The other situation involved my own thoughts from my own brain.  I've been stewing on thoughts of how I've failed at this and that; how I haven't achieved what I've wanted in the timeframe I gave myself.  For two years I've been back and forth around this mountain of self-deprication, shame, blame, depression; you name it, I've crossed around it several times.  I've tried to justify it, see different perspectives and attempt many layers of band-aids to heal my self-inflicted wounds.  But, nothing helped.

Until the other day.  For  the first time, I accepted my failures for myself.  I accepted the fact that I didn't do what I wanted, for whatever the reason.  I fessed up to God on the matter--for which He already knew-- and asked for the forgiveness He gave long ago, but just took me a century to accept.  

In fact, it wasn't just accepting His forgiveness that really switched the leaf over.  It was realizing that I was guilty BUT was also pardoned.  It was the duality that finally congealed in my brain.  While I was guilty of this matter, I was also pardoned because of Christ's blood shed for me.  It's called: "Living by grace"; not by the law that I failed. 

And finally, finally, the flopping fish in my heart died.  It just stopped.  All my obsessive, compulsive behavior, my irritability and short fuse with myself, my depressive mindset finally lifted and out of nowhere a piece of my soul felt resurrected.  My fears of the future coming and the feelings that I've ran out of time have now ceased.  Suddenly, I feel happy.  It's like the new tooth waiting in the gums for the old tooth to leave.  My happiness must have been waiting for me to release the fish.

And my well-being has felt good. So good.  

So, if you have encountered a flopping fish in your life, take a minute to pause and reflect.  Continue to try to assess what type of fish this is.  Watch for it to reveal if it is indeed a fish or if it is a shark.  You may not be able to see this for yourself (not many of us can), but ironically, others somehow can see it.  If and when they speak into your life, save yourself by listening!  If need be, you may have to act before your losses cut you.

If the fish is a series of destructive thinking, then isolate these thoughts and accept your losses for yourself.  Fess them up to God.  He already knows them anyway, so it's not like you're telling Him something new.  Forgive yourself and realize the duality.  Absorb like a breath of fresh air that even though you are guilty of whatever it is, you are also pardoned.  Now, this doesn't give you the excuse to keep doing it--absolutely not! Because, now that you know, you are held even more accountable for it.  But, what this does is set your captive heart free... it loosens out the old tooth so that the new one can come in.

So, if you're like me, it's likely you'll need to release your fish back into the wild; a catch and release type situation.  Release it.  Let your fish go and watch it swim away.  But, have hope.  There are other fish in the pond.

Romans 6 will tell you all about it.

© 2013 Candice Irion