What an oxymoron. For me, most rainy days aren't beautiful. They are gloomy, blah and often when I have bad headaches.
However, isn't it the rainy days where we find much joy? Aren't they the ones where snuggling underneath the covers feels so right? Where watching a days worth of movies is a delight? Where rest is welcomed?
Months where the sun is hard to find are often when I find myself gloomy and in bad moods. At times, it's hard for me to find my way out of this cycle. I'm beginning to believe negativity breeds negativity. The more I allow myself to be in a bad mood, the more I complain, the more I'm negative, the longer the sun ain't gonna shine. Get the picture? Not pretty for me or those around me.
Then, something snapped and it made a big difference. Mind you, it's not a stroke a brilliance or a major epiphany. Just a simple, plain as day thought that moved the fault line of my bad mood. Here it is... are you ready? ->"Why should I be in a bad mood?" Hm. That's true. I do have much to be thankful for. I am blessed beyond measure. I started naming off the many blessings God has provided and realized how I'm wasting my joy on my bad mood. Further, I'm allowing my bad mood to steal my joy.
Jim Reimann's words struck another cord: "Isn't it true that the longer we live, the shorter we realize this life really is?"* I wonder how long I really have anyway, or how long any of my loved ones have. Why would I not saturate every possible moment with joy, cheer versus the latter?
Granted, there are days where rain must fall. The disagreement must occur. The trash doesn't get taken out. I get it. That's life. But for me, myself and I, despite the circumstances circulating, how am I going to live each day? What is going to counter shift negativity and grumpiness? For me, it was getting out and smelling the roses.
You say: "What?" Yup. I took a long walk and saw beautiful flowers and something resonated. There are beautiful flowers all around me and I'm allowing my mood to cloud my view. I'm allowing the grinding bits of my circumstances to cast a dark shadow over the joy of what I really have.
In addition, I realized why am I not seeking the things that do bring me joy? Why am I settling with my negativity?
Also remembering who I am in Christ was helpful. These words from Charles Spurgeon were most enlightening: "As we look into the future, we see death and "the body of sin... done away with" (Rom. 6:6) and the soul made perfectly complete --fit to partake in the inheritance of the saints of light. Looking further still, the believer's enlightened eye of faith can see that gloomy stream of death's river then forded and the attainment of the heights of the hills of light where shines that glorious celestial city. He sees himself within the pearly gates, hailed as more than a conqueror (see Rom. 8:37), crowned by Christ's own hands, embraced within the arms of Jesus, glorified with Him, and seated with HIm on His throne-as He said, "To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne" (Rev. 3:21). The very thought of such a glorious future should relieve the darkness of the past and the dreary gloom of the present. The joys of heave will more than compensate for the sorrows of earth. Hush then! O my doubts! Hush! Death is simply a narrow stream that quickly will be crossed."*
His words remind me that gloomy days, bad moods, negativity are just temporary. They want to be the focus, but should never be. The things that should be of focus are: "whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...if anything is excellent or praise worth think about such things," (Phil. 4:8 NASB).
So on this rainy day, push away the dark clouds and concentrate on the "flowers" before you. Allow these blessings to reinvigorate your soul, add a bounce to your step and more so, draw you ever closer to our Lord.
"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, "(Eph. 5:19, NASB).
©2013 Candice Irion All Rights Resevered.
*Reimann, J. (2008) "Morning by Morning The Devotions of Charles Spurgeon" Grand Rapids: Zondervan.
Interested? Find it here: Morning by Morning: The Devotions of Charles Spurgeon
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doubt. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Day 5 v.2012
Isaiah 42:16: "I will make darkness light before them"
Isaiah 41:18: "I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, The myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine and the box tree together, that they may see and know, and consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this And the Holy One of Israel has created it."
I needed Isaiah this morning. I needed to hear that God will take darkness, my darkness and turn it into light.
There are times in all of our lives where life is muddy, murky, scary, unknown. Purpose seems distant. The joy of life has grown dim. The clouds of depression loom. It's the winter season in our lives.
Winter usually symbolizes a death... where the passing of the foliage, leaves and the outdoors sheds it's "skin" and lays dormant until the warmth of the sun invigorates the springtime. But not God's version of winter. Winter, to Him, is the cusp of renewal. It is the time of rerooting, removing the old and renovation.
I reflect on the "winter" seasons of my life. As cold and chilly and harsh winds that I've had, all I really remember is the feeling of the warmth of renewal. Just as a little seedling nestles into the ground to brave the rough, blistery cold, I sense that. I remember myself taking shelter from the storms around me; trying to find hope somewhere. I re-rooted myself in His word, evaluated things I could change and replaced old things with new. But, above all, I simply remember the feelings of the warmth of a new dawn and the relaxation that spring would indeed come.
According to Webster, the word indeed means: "without question or in reality". So, without question, winter will turn into spring. Without question, God will take the brutal things we face and bring light out of them. Without question, things will warm up, turn around and become new.
So what do we do in the meantime? If we are that seedling, then we do what it does: grow roots. In dark times, plant yourself in God's word. Renew your mind and continue to grow, even though you feel like you are spinning your wheels and driving your head into a brick wall, over and over and over again.
Ask me how I know. I have dreams and hopes and aspirations. What's going on with them? Day 5 is a hard day because I feel like I'm in the winter. I'm a freelancer and I was hoping to be the financial provider while my husband is in school. Not happening like I thought. Questions loom and my only answer is "I don't know." I'm suffocated by my own inabilities, weaknesses, fears, doubts and anything else that alludes a negative edge to my persona. I have this dream of my screenplay helping to change lives and the only thing stopping me is God's call for me to wait on the money. I've searched high and low for it and it seems to be nowhere. Attempt after attempt to get a lot of involvement seems as fruitful as trying to jump start a low battery. I'm trying to get my house in order and as soon as I unload another box and I'm exhausted that there is always one more around the blasted corner.
What is the deal? Is life just life-zapping, miserable and bleak? Yes. And it's called "winter". Winters can be long. They can be short. But, they are a period of time and a matter of perspective. There is a spring that is around the corner. That's a fact. After winter, there is spring. I don't control the order of seasons. That is placed for us. Thank goodness . Because I need spring to come. Don't you?
As much as I'd like to wallow in my overcast perspective, I have a little candle that still burns deep within and without fail, it ignites the "press on" switch. Maybe winter wouldn't be so dark if I wasn't looking at all the mud on my face and turned my vision to Christ; the One who makes all things new. Things aren't roses. But His word tells me that He will change this darkness into the light. So I do have hope. And you do too.
Maybe Day 6 will be better. Maybe not. But regardless of the weather outside or inside me, I still have God's word which promises that He will provide (Matt. 6). I still have His love, that nothing can or will take away. (Rom 8:38-39). I still may I have the "I don't know" answer to everything that presses in right now. But I know the One who does.
So, I'll ask for His wisdom to figure it out. I'll shove all of my inabilities, doubts, fears, everything into a box and slide it over to Him and say "take it." I can't carry this. But He can. I'll turn my eyes away from all the questions that loom and put in front of me "He turns darkness into light". And I'll accept the "I don't know". It's not so scary when you know the One who does, because He is carrying you through. Sometimes I don't feel Him carrying me. I don't see it. I may doubt it. But He is there. And the spring will indeed come.
Isaiah 41:18: "I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, The myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine and the box tree together, that they may see and know, and consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this And the Holy One of Israel has created it."
I needed Isaiah this morning. I needed to hear that God will take darkness, my darkness and turn it into light.
There are times in all of our lives where life is muddy, murky, scary, unknown. Purpose seems distant. The joy of life has grown dim. The clouds of depression loom. It's the winter season in our lives.
Winter usually symbolizes a death... where the passing of the foliage, leaves and the outdoors sheds it's "skin" and lays dormant until the warmth of the sun invigorates the springtime. But not God's version of winter. Winter, to Him, is the cusp of renewal. It is the time of rerooting, removing the old and renovation.
I reflect on the "winter" seasons of my life. As cold and chilly and harsh winds that I've had, all I really remember is the feeling of the warmth of renewal. Just as a little seedling nestles into the ground to brave the rough, blistery cold, I sense that. I remember myself taking shelter from the storms around me; trying to find hope somewhere. I re-rooted myself in His word, evaluated things I could change and replaced old things with new. But, above all, I simply remember the feelings of the warmth of a new dawn and the relaxation that spring would indeed come.
According to Webster, the word indeed means: "without question or in reality". So, without question, winter will turn into spring. Without question, God will take the brutal things we face and bring light out of them. Without question, things will warm up, turn around and become new.
So what do we do in the meantime? If we are that seedling, then we do what it does: grow roots. In dark times, plant yourself in God's word. Renew your mind and continue to grow, even though you feel like you are spinning your wheels and driving your head into a brick wall, over and over and over again.
Ask me how I know. I have dreams and hopes and aspirations. What's going on with them? Day 5 is a hard day because I feel like I'm in the winter. I'm a freelancer and I was hoping to be the financial provider while my husband is in school. Not happening like I thought. Questions loom and my only answer is "I don't know." I'm suffocated by my own inabilities, weaknesses, fears, doubts and anything else that alludes a negative edge to my persona. I have this dream of my screenplay helping to change lives and the only thing stopping me is God's call for me to wait on the money. I've searched high and low for it and it seems to be nowhere. Attempt after attempt to get a lot of involvement seems as fruitful as trying to jump start a low battery. I'm trying to get my house in order and as soon as I unload another box and I'm exhausted that there is always one more around the blasted corner.
What is the deal? Is life just life-zapping, miserable and bleak? Yes. And it's called "winter". Winters can be long. They can be short. But, they are a period of time and a matter of perspective. There is a spring that is around the corner. That's a fact. After winter, there is spring. I don't control the order of seasons. That is placed for us. Thank goodness . Because I need spring to come. Don't you?
As much as I'd like to wallow in my overcast perspective, I have a little candle that still burns deep within and without fail, it ignites the "press on" switch. Maybe winter wouldn't be so dark if I wasn't looking at all the mud on my face and turned my vision to Christ; the One who makes all things new. Things aren't roses. But His word tells me that He will change this darkness into the light. So I do have hope. And you do too.
Maybe Day 6 will be better. Maybe not. But regardless of the weather outside or inside me, I still have God's word which promises that He will provide (Matt. 6). I still have His love, that nothing can or will take away. (Rom 8:38-39). I still may I have the "I don't know" answer to everything that presses in right now. But I know the One who does.
So, I'll ask for His wisdom to figure it out. I'll shove all of my inabilities, doubts, fears, everything into a box and slide it over to Him and say "take it." I can't carry this. But He can. I'll turn my eyes away from all the questions that loom and put in front of me "He turns darkness into light". And I'll accept the "I don't know". It's not so scary when you know the One who does, because He is carrying you through. Sometimes I don't feel Him carrying me. I don't see it. I may doubt it. But He is there. And the spring will indeed come.
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