Transitions that Get You Somewhere

I had the honor of writing the below as a guest blogger for The Ranch.org; an online ministry led by Eric Elder.  It's a wonderful site if you are needing hope and healing, or just to gain a new perspective, go there and check it out.

Click here to read the article on The Ranch.org

Transitions that Get You Somewhere

“We… are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

I’ll come right out with it. There is nothing easy about transitions. They all incur choices, considerations and possibly some of the biggest trials you’ll go through. To me, seasons of transitions have been like walking through storms: lightning, heat, fire, gushes of water, you name it. It is there.

My most recent transition was a move. I’m still dealing with it. When I found out my husband and I were moving, I thought I was going into some sort of exile. Quite literally and sorry to admit. But, yes, I did.

With earlier transitions I’d tell you I went on several round trips to hell with no frequent flyer miles to boot. I suffered losses of the worst kind and believe me, I never want to go back. Hell is well… hell. What can I say?

So transitions and me? I’d say we are tight, but I don’t like them that much. We aren’t friends, nor do I really care to offer that kind of amiable middle ground to transition. We won’t be Facebook friends any time soon.

But transitions are in my life and in yours too. Yours might be the same as mine or different. Either way, transitions are there for better or worse, good or bad, in sickness and in health… basically, for the long haul.

God has used transitions in my life for many reasons, and if hindsight is really 20/20, I have to say that counter to my disdain of going through transitions, the end results have been quite fruitful.

God has used transitions in my life to transform me into His likeness.

Granted, I haven’t always liked the transition God has used and I have kicked and screamed my way through, but over time, I’ve learned to trust God’s choice in transition and not battled back so hard the more times I’ve gone through them. (BTW, not battling so hard does make the transition a bit easier. Ask me how I know). 

So, let’s roll up our sleeves and do some dirty work. Someone’s got to right? It might as well be you and me considering we are the principal players in our lives.

Let’s gain some understanding about transitions on a general level. For starters, transition is defined in two ways: a noun and a verb. (Starting out difficult already, eh?)

According to our friend Webster, a transition in noun form is: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

As a verb, transition is: to undergo or cause to undergo a process or period of transition.

Another fun fact is that the term transition seems to have been used more after the year 2010 than in the 1800’s. Interesting sign of the times, isn’t it?

But boiling it down, being in transition is like being in a metamorphic state. There are many feelings of movement and one doesn’t come out the same as when they started the process.

Being in transitions is like a form of material being in a crucible. A crucible is a vessel that can withstand temperatures hotter than we can pronounce (like a gabillion degrees). Many times crucibles were made out of clay, but many times materials like silver and gold were put into crucibles to be refined.

In the screenwriting world, Hal Croasmun of ScreenwritingU, instructs writers to put their characters in a “crucible” of some sort, heat up the pressure and allow the characters to react true to their nature. Some of the most fiery scenes have come from this technique. It’s a great method of character development.

In a similar fashion, transition has been a crucible in my life. It has been an agent of refining, of boiling out impurities, of overturning perceptions, of shifting my fleshly ways to spiritual ones.

We’ll use my recent move as an example. I mentioned I felt like I was going into exile. And how did I react to the news? Many times, I was a royal pain! It’s true. I was. I didn’t want to move. My business, my life, my everything was where I was and I wanted to stay. Wouldn’t you?

But when I got to my new place, I began to witness what God was up to and subsequently calmed down. He wrestled out issues that had seeded themselves deep within me. He changed the focus of my business. He put me in a place where it is quiet and I could do that. Then He surged up more deep issues. He weeded out other relationships that needed to go. He brought back pottery into my life. Through the process of throwing bowls, He got me back on the horse with some business perceptions I struggled through. He deepened my marriage. Ultimately, God has used this move, this transition, as His crucible to boil out the bad, heal the hurt parts and replace it with the good. It has been one of the most active catalysts in my life.

Now when I see a transition, I realize what it is: a crucible with experiences both good and difficult. What is your perception of transition?

Furthermore, how will you react when God brings transition into your life? Will you trust or will you fight? Will you kick, scream and battle your way or will you commit to persevering through?

Before you answer that, let’s read a bit from Jim Reimann, who illustrates a comforting purpose in transition and crucibles.

“For a jeweler sits as he refines precious metals, such as silver. He puts the silver in the crucible, puts the fire to it, but does not then walk away, leaving it on its own. No, he sits and watches it, being careful not to set the fire too hot, which may ruin the metal, nor set it too low, which will not allow the heat to do its work to burn away the dross and impurities. He sits carefully watching the metal, all the while adjusting the fire to exactly the right temperature. And when does he know it is perfectly pure? When the jeweler can see his face in the metal, for it reflects his likeness.” 

Jim’s next words are inspiring. “In the same way, the Lord sends the heat of the suffering into our lives to burn away our impurities and to conform us “to the likeness of His Son,’” (Rom. 8:29).

I can 100% attest that through my transition, God has never left my side. Not for a second. Not even in my worst moments. God has even drawn nearer.

So take comfort. If you are experiencing transition on any scale, know that He won’t leave your side, not for a second. He will be with you in the loneliest of times to the most joyful, whatever the temperature is.

Also know that the transition isn’t the end of the world, but instead, is a crucible to get you to where you need to go. Ironically, I never went into exile like I thought I was, but instead, far from it. Instead, God brought me into freedom.

Lastly, there is a purpose in this transition and if there is ever a time to trust, this is it. Hold back on the kicking and screaming and try to be led “beside the quiet waters,” allowing Him to restore your soul (see Ps. 23).

Granted, you may too think you are going into exile and wonder why God has sent you on a tour through hell. I’ve been there and get that. But, the second you transfix your eyes away from your situation and onto God and His promises to carry you through, is the moment you transition beyond; no longer just staring helplessly at the crucible but now staring hopefully at the One crucified. For He, part of the Triune Godhead, (the Father, Son and Holy Spirit) understand our hearts more than ourselves.

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words,” (Romans 8:26). 

Another comfort is to remember that the intense time of hurt, sorrow and grief will only be for a season. The rage of difficulty will pass like the violent summer storms. The heat the silver experienced inside the crucible was just momentary.

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal,” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

And then the day those clouds part, the hour the silver comes out of the fire, the time the clay bowl finally cools and the moment the crucible is removed, what is left shines so brightly, for it has been transformed into His image. He will look into His precious one, into you, into me, and see His reflection.

God will use your transition to transform you.

Going through it will be tough and potentially unwanted, but as you transfix your eyes upon Him, you will see what He sees and you can trust Him to carry you through.

Here are some verses of encouragement as you walk through your season of transition:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us,” (Romans. 8:18). 

“…Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God,” (Hebrews 12:2). 

“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy,” (Psalm. 126:6).

“And we who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit,” (2 Corinthians. 3:18).

Follow-up from Eric: To read more from Candice, I hope you'll check out her blog at candiceirion.blogspot.com. And if you're going through a transition of your own and need to know that God can use it for good, I hope you'll join us for our fall retreat in October. Our theme is "transitions" and you'll get a chance to hear more stories, in person, of how God can walk you through whatever transition you're going through. Visit the home page of theranch.org to learn more! Lastly, you can still donate to "Lana's Hope" and get a colorful reminder band as our way of saying thanks. Just visit "Lana's Hope is My Hope" to donate.

Copy © Candice Irion. All Rights Reserved.

Scripture passages are from the NASB and NIV Bibles.

Reimann, J., ed. Morning By Morning: The Devotions of Charles Spurgeon. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008. Print.

Put Your Shoes On: the Cockroaches Must Die

“But now you must rid yourselves of all such things,” (Colossians 3:8).

Our homes are filled with walls, wires, power plugs, the basics.  Our closest have clothes, shoes, and honestly, who knows what else we’ve stuffed in there.  

We’ve got loot. 

We’ve also got termites.

In our homes and in our hearts.

Imagine my amazement that after my “Jackhammer to the Heart” article, an army of fierce cockroaches fled the coop as God shook the foundations of my soul.  

Did I mention I hate cockroaches?

In the South, it seems that they swarm in just as the humidity increases and the air pressure swells.

Did I mention that I HATE cockroaches?  

I can’t even kill them.  I am fearful, slow and…. let’s face it:  I hate to hear the crunch.  You know what I mean.

Sometimes I try to take the humane way and release them back into the wild, however, this way doesn’t help because we all know where they will return to:  my house.  

Worse yet, they’ll come back in ten fold having inbred with all their cousins.  Mutated cockroaches do not make my day.

Thus, the decree is set:  the cockroaches must die.

Not just one.  All of them.

Why else do we give termite specialists loads of dinero?  We do this for security and for protection against what will viciously eat away at our home’s foundations and pillars; potentially causing a major collapse. 

Thus, when we are aware of this problem, it is of tantamount importance to act quickly, thoroughly and, you got it, URGENTLY.

I struggle with all three. 

I deny that it is really even true.  Surely there aren’t that many.

I ignore that there is really even a termite problem.  There are just bugs.

I figure I’ll get to it later.  

Then the house collapses.  

This is similar to the houses of our souls.  As God jackhammers out the issues that cause us to struggle, the cockroaches of bad thinking, misperceptions and bad attitudes seek new shelter.

To get rid of these things, we must act. 

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature,” (Colossians 3:5).

Did you catch the “whatever”?  The “you fill in the blank” with your specific struggle?  

Let’s see this in another action.

Every morning I wake up.  I have certain beliefs, attitudes and thoughts.  Some are good and some are not.  Before my feet hit the floor, all of these are in tact and in full swing.  It is my nature and as much as I try to overcome this thorn in my flesh, these “cockroaches” of thoughts are still there, chewing away at the pillars of my soul.  

However…

If every morning, before my feet hit the floor, I was to take action on these cockroaches by applying the truth of Scripture to them, it would be like penetrating the rotten wood the termites have gnawed upon.   The cockroaches of faulty beliefs, attitudes and thoughts would be thwarted in taking such a deep root in my soul.

Let’s try another example to hit this home.

Imagine your house before the sheet rock was put on the structure.  You have wood and you have wires.  If we use the example from my "Jackhammer to the Heart" article, imagine the structure before the concrete was pulled.  It was a bunch of rebarb wires, right?

So, then the builder or foreman layers the sheet rock onto the house, or pours the concrete.  Things are set in place.  The house is then filled with electricity and the concrete has rocks mixed into it.  Everything has something that gives it an ability to make it work.

But, let’s not miss the fact that the structure of the house and of the concrete are the structures from where they operate.  Short of an overhaul, this is what we’ve got.

Now to actually operate this house, we must give it power.  We must go to our fuse boxes and turn on the wires we want lit.  Granted, there are two sets of wires: those we activate and those we leave inactive (but note, both are still there).  

Here in lies my point.  When we go to the fuse boxes, we have a choice of the wires we activate and the wires we leave inactive.  They are both still there, but we have a choice in what we give power too.  

We have a choice as to what will light our house and the wires to our soul.

Granted, choosing what lights our wires is a perpetual task for our issues, beliefs, attitudes and thoughts are like thorns to us.  They just don't sting once.  They are embedded.  They sting over and over again.  Course, we don’t want to operate out of these faulty thorns, but we perpetually find ourselves doing so whether we realize it or not and no matter how hard we've tried to rise above.   UGH!

Thus, just like living with both sets of wires throughout the house, we also have to live with the fact that there will be more cockroaches that we must choose to dismantle.  

"Then, what’s the point if they are just going to keep coming back or if there will always be two sets of wires?"  You ask.

Good question.

The Apostle Paul also wrestled with this.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do,” (Romans 7:15).

Due to the fact that we live in a fallen world, we inherently have a fallen earthly nature.  Our natural selves will continue to threaten our well being if we don’t do something about it. Plain and simple and as complex as that.

SO, WHAT DO WE DO?

Here’s some hope: even though we find ourselves operating out of this natural self, this painful thorn, what we also have to accept is that we still have the choice to choose which wires we will activate and which we will keep inactive.

We choose what we give power too. Day in and out.

Still doubtful of the purpose behind all of this? 

Look at it this way.

One set of wires will give you hope, freedom and life.  The other set (what you naturally do) will likely lead you to despair, depression, destruction and quite possibly, death.

If you don’t slay the cockroaches now, then they will get out of control.  There is no other way.  That is what cockroaches naturally do.  However, if you slay some now, there is relief and hopefully, less to come later.  

Let’s press pause on the cockroaches for a minute and take this idea of having a set of active wires and inactive wires into one more scope.

Shoes.

Recently, I purchased some shoes that I knew I shouldn’t.  I just needed to close my eyes and get out of the store and  FAST!  But, what did I do?  What I didn’t want to.  I let my eyes linger and BAM!  There it was:  major cuteness and bonus, half off.  Can you say sold, hook line and sinker?  

I’ve struggled with guilt of this purchase and how I should take them back; save the money.  But I haven’t wanted to.  My weakness in attaching to half-off cuteness got me yet again. UGH.

Now, when I wear my half off cute shoes, I think of my fallen, sinful nature.  I think of how I failed yet again.  

So why even wear them?  

Because I also think of grace.

I think about while I have my fallen, sinful nature all around me, that I still have the ability to put on grace.

Which leads us back to where we started:  what to do with the misperceptions, faulty beliefs and bad attitudes that store up in our beings.

“You used to walk in these ways in the life you once lived.  But now, you must rid yourselves of all such things,” (Colossians 3:7-8).  

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves…” (Col. 3:12).

The act of putting on clothing necessary for the day is a similar metaphor to putting on Scripture necessary for whatever you are going through, even if it is just going through another day. 

Think about it.  If it is super chilly, we want to put on warmer clothes.  If it is super hot, we want to put on lighter clothes.  

If you are going through a crisis, apply Scripture more and more.  If you are going through a season of joy, apply Scripture more and more.

For whatever it is, the bottom line is, everyday, we must put something on.  

For our houses to be lit, we must turn something on.

In order for the cockroaches to be obliterated into smithereens, we must act.

Thus, to move out of our default natural selves, we must put on the new man.

Day after day, night after night, moment after moment, we must put on the truth that sets us free.  

Thus, whatever it is that you are struggling through,(fill in the blank), recognize that as you put on your Spiritual clothes, there is power that comes of this.  

There is power in putting truth on your soul.

Just like when you put on a piece of clothes.  You put something on that is external to draw an internal effect.  You put on a sweater to make yourself warm.  

You light your house by using the internal good wires so that you can see externally.

You wear shoes so that you can run without harm.  (Unless you’re like me and trip all the time… eh hemm.  A different story another for another day) (:

Get the picture?

Let’s tie this together. 

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness,” (Ephesians 4:22-24).

Everyday, when you see these “cockroaches” in your life, accept the facts.  There is no denying it.  They are there and will be chewing at your core until you choose to do something about it.  They are the wires (the lines of thinking) that you want to choose not to give power too and thus, you render these wires inactive.

Then look at the wires you do want to activate.  Look at the truth, the Scripture that stirs your soul.  It’s also like picking out the clothing or shoes that you want to wear for the day depending how much is needed. 

Then you turn the light switch on.

You put the clothes— the words of eternal life—onto your external fallen man and are renewed internally.

And when you do this day after day, it is highly probable that your default natural state will lessen in it’s power.  (For some, whatever the default is in your natural earthly self, you may be able to abolish it forever.  For others, the default is a perpetual thorn that must be battled time and again.)

And if you are in the thorn boat, what will hopefully occur, is that as you continually put on the truth, it will take root and generate into an internal effect.  The power from operating out of your natural self, will shift to operating out of your new man:  the Spirit filled self.

Again, your fallen man is still there—thus, you must continually guard your Spirit filled self with truth everyday and maybe more so depending on the weather (or situations) of that day; especially when your days are figuratively becoming more humid and your air pressure is swelling (cockroaches love those days!).

Then, as you continually clothe yourself with the word, the cockroaches of faulty beliefs won’t be able to take such root and have such an effect on you, for you will have given the power to the truth that leads to life, hope and encouragement.  

For, we all have a choice:  what will we give power too and with what we will clothe ourselves?  

What will you choose?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness," Ephesians 4:22.

“…you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts,” Ephesians 4:17-18.

"My Flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever," (Psalm 73:26).  

The Colossians Causeway to Clearer Thinking (and Killing Cockroaches!) :

2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: (you fill in the blank)

7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 

—>Remind yourself, you used to walk this way.  No more.  You are choosing not to give power to your old ways, rendering them inoperable.  

9 “…since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves 

13 Bear with each other and forgive one another  

14 And over all these virtues put on love,

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

And be thankful.

16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him…

Copy/Content © Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.

Scripture passages are from the NIV Bible. 

Jackhammer to the Heart

You hear it in the city.  You hear it on the side of the road.  But in my driveway?  

Yes.  I hear it too.

It’s the sounds of the jackhammer tearing up part of our driveway.  

I can’t say I’m happy about the circumstance.  But, it is what it is.  Right?

I’ve been keeping a close eye on this crew removing party of our driveway.   The concrete has been quite stubborn and it’s actually been kind of humorous to witness the crew scratch their heads having to come up with new ways to lift it out.

And at this point, they’ve tried everything to avoid the messy jackhammer.  

But, nothing else will work.  The concrete must come out. 

Such is the case for certain matters of the heart that must come up and be lifted out; where our actions, words or perceptions must be removed due to the conflicts they cause.  

Don’t we find ourselves scratching our own heads trying to figure out how?  Albeit, in my searching, I have yet to find the humor in any attempts to lift the “concrete” out of my own life because it is way more stubborn then the stuff in my driveway.  Do you feel the same?

So, what do we do? 

Our first reaction seems to be to try to manage our behavior.  Matt Chandler, of The Village Church, describes managing behavior like mowing the grass.  You can scalp it as much as you want, but the grass will grow back.  Managing our own behavior doesn’t work for the long haul.

Then, what does? 

For starters, we must accept a very frustrating (but ultimately good) conundrum.  

We don’t have the power to conquer the issue ourselves.  Only God does.  

Many of you might baulk at this and say:  What I’m dealing with is impossible to overcome.  Believe me, I’ve prayed.  I’ve tried.  I’ve done everything right and I’M STILL DEALING WITH IT.  

Yup.  Me too.

So, shall we then wallow in our state of despair?  I’ve tried that and it doesn’t get me any further in my endeavor except into more pity, more despair and then, whoa, I’m depressed.  

Or how about a numbing mechanism like, retail therapy, drinking, drugs, other relationships?  Based off the reports of others, these don’t work either.  

So, what in the world will work?  

Actually… nothing will. 

Zero.

Zip. 

Nada.

Why?

Because everything in this world is temporary.  Nothing, not even ourselves, has the power to overcome the most difficult concrete in our lives.  

Thus, we must go to the eternal and find ourselves back at the altar of God, standing there helpless, sorrowful and wondering if we’ll ever make it.  What a humbling experience.  Ask me how I know.

And if you are like me, you even more mad at yourself for having circled this mountain again (like the Israelites did) thinking you had already overcome the issue.  You can’t stand yourself for where you are and what you’ve done.

I so get that.

However, let’s realize, it is exactly the place we need to be.

Hold the phone.  “Whatcha talkin’ about Willis?”  

When we go back to God, ask yourself the question:  Where are you?  

Aren’t you in His arms?  In His love?  Soaked, bathed and washed clean in His grace?

Yes… you are.  

But, then, there is still the issue of the jackhammer.  “What about that?”  You ask.  The problem is still there.  The apostle Paul was dealt the same hand.  Check this out:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do,” (Rom. 7:15)…  

“…For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it,” (Rom. 7:18-20).

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul likens his “concrete”, his issue or his sin, to that of a thorn; one that stings and can’t be removed, it is so deep.  Like us, He needs a jackhammer to the heart.

But what does Paul sense God saying?  

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,” (2 Cor. 12:9). 

Say what?

In every time we are weak, in every moment our issue war against us, God will give us His strength to prevail.  God will renew us and carry us through that very moment.  It is one of the reasons He instilled His Spirit in us who believe.  

“He will convict…. (and) He will guide you into all truth,” John 16: 8 & 12, (parentheses mine.)  

2 Corinthians 12:9 also aptly reminds us that many times, our weakness won’t be just lifted out of our lives.  It will have to be jackhammered, thrust out, piece by piece, each moment at a time.  It won’t be easy.  It will be painful.  But, once it is removed, it will lead to a quietness of soul and a subsiding of the conflict.  

And just like when a thorn is finally dislodged, healing can—and will— take place.  Any infection will be restored.  The bad will be replaced with the good.

Also keep in mind that God’s method of jackhammering comes with His hands of comfort, His word of Hope, His Spirit of Renewal.  

Thus, take heart.  God has all of us on a moment to moment plan: where we can find the power to overcome our weakness and be empowered by His Spirit, love and grace— over and over and over again.  He gets that our concrete is too heavy for us to lift that’s why He created a plan to jackhammer it for us; for He is the only one who can.

So this day, if you feel that your concrete is impossible to remove, rest in God’s provision.  He will jackhammer this out, and you, in His sufficient strength, will overcome.

“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7: 25).

There goes that jackhammer again…

___________________________

Encouraging Words of our Lord:  

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand,” (Psalm 40:2).

“Stand firm, and you will win life,” (Luke 21:19).

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery,” (Galatians 5:1).

“…Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem…
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged… 
Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you,’” (2 Chronicles 20:17).

“…but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.  Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties… 

…For when I am weak, then I am strong,” (2 Cor. 12: 5b-10).

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go,” (Joshua 1:9).

Copy and Photos © Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.  

Scripture reverences are from the NIV Bible. 

Yes, I Went Through the Trash and It was Worth It.

It was the conversation I needed to have.  After many thoughts of wondering and trying to plan how I’d ask, I just came out with it.

I asked why my Dad took the pivot in life that he did.

We were at breakfast at a sidewalk cafe in Southern California. People around us munched on their food while I sat quite daunted in my chair.  This question had been looming in me for sometime.  I hadn't seen Dad in a while and now was my chance to ask.  

So, he whips out a napkin and a pen and starts drawing a map for me.  Dad explains how he realized he would only be able to achieve his dream if he took another route; not the direct route he initially set his course to.  I followed this map feeling consoled and overwhelmed.  It was the place where I have long been too.

Tears stung my eyes.  

“Candice, what’s wrong?”  He inquired.

“This is where I have been.”  I felt hurt, frustrated, sad, relived… probably 45 emotions all in one feel swoop.  Did I mention exhausted?  I felt that too.

Isn’t that the case for many of us?  

We set our hearts, minds and sails in one direction and go full force into gaining it, only to come up flat with not what we intended in hand.

Frustrated we press on and on and on, trying to assimilate any way to just for the love get there only to again not be able to find what we seek.  Baffling!!

As many can attest, pursuing a dream can take forever to achieve. 

So I watched my Dad draw his plan on this napkin as I battled the tears welling up in my eyes.  Dad further revealed the path of how he’d finally attain his dream.  It all seemed so clear.  And yes, I could do this too.

A sigh of relief…. At long last.   

My Dad then leaves the table for a few moments and I sit there glad for the time to get this girl under some control.  I mean, really?  Tears, go away!  Ever felt like that?  Ssheessh.  What got into me that morning? Can you say, embarrassing??

The sun shined its warmth on me, distracting the tears and thankfully, subsiding them.  I took in the atmosphere.  A café by the coast, ahh.  This is nice.

I thought about Dad’s plan and just how special it was.  It was something I could do and understood.  The breeze blew and took my remaining emotions with it.  Finally. I basked in the sun.  Ahh.  The day seemed hopeful. 

Dad returned and off we went.  We toured around the café and then went to his office where we discussed his plan more.  

Then the thought hit me….

“Dad, where is the napkin?”

I scrambled around searching for this treasured artifact.  Not in the purse.  Not in my pockets.  But, where…?  Oh no…

I left it on the table. 

I had been so focused on trying to regain composure that I let this priceless piece sit there and be left.  I had to go get it. 

I darted to the restaurant.  Sure enough, someone else was sitting at the table.  Drat! Not there.

I asked the waiter where might it be.  Where else?  The trash?  Oh no.

The waiter showed me the humongous filled trashcan by the dishwasher where only food and table remnants go.  It was topped off with green goop and slimy.  I don’t do slime.   

I think I heard it growl too.

The waiter escorted me out.  “You can look through it if you want, but it’s gross,” he said in his lackadaisical, yet uppity, California tone. 

More tears filled my eyes.  “It’s important to me.  But I get it.  It’s gross.”  I walked off. 

Then the water works turned on.  What in the world was wrong with me?  I found some benches and sat down.  I thought about how this napkin, which was probably by now, completely ruined, but also potentially sitting in that trash can 100 yards away from me.  

This napkin had my father’s revelation of how he’d reach his dream, handwritten on there just for me.  These were my Father’s words.  Of course he could rewrite them.  He’d be glad too.  But, it wasn’t the original. 

The thoughts loomed in my head.  Do I or don’t I? 

It was the original.  It was the one I poured my eyes out over.  It was the one where I finally admitted that I was on the same track.  There is nothing like the original.

I walked back to the restaurant looked the waiter square in the eyes and said:  “I get it.  It’s gross.”  I took off my watch.  “But, it’s important.”

So, they lead me back to the trashcan.  The dishwasher lugged it to the back of the restaurant.  It was heavy.  Really heavy.  The waitress handed me a gigantic spoon and the uppity waiter said (in so many words): “Good luck.  You’re not going to find it.”

I looked into the pit of green slime, nasty waste complete with smells of water and trash and started digging, hopefully that this napkin was in there unharmed. 

I dug.

And I dug. 

And I dug.

The dishwasher and one of the kitchen helpers returned with extra trashcans and gloves taking pity on me and asking if I had found the napkin. 

Nope, not yet.

Soon enough the large spoon wasn’t cutting it.  I snapped on the gloves and dove my hands in.  

Using the gloves was definitely more efficient, but there is something about sifting through other people’s discarded chewed up food and used napkins with a thin piece of plastic covering your hands that is just…. ick.  (And let’s just say I am on the outer orbits of being considered a germ-a-phobe.)

But the hope set before me, that I could find this napkin, dissolved or not, kept me going. 

During my search, people would walk by and stare.  “What are you doing?” 

Sure, my actions were questionable.  But I had a legitimate reason that I’d explain.  Some people would empathize; others were snotty.  To one guy I retorted:  “If it’s that important, wouldn’t you?”  That got him.  Tail between his stocky legs he admitted: “Yeah.  I would.”  Off he went.  Good.

And frankly, I questioned my actions the whole time.  My time of sloshing my hands through this disgusting mess had me on a few trains of thought:

“You are your Dad’s daughter.  What are you doing in the trash?  He will re-write this for you.”

“What if he came by and saw you or what if others talked about this to him?  He’d be so embarrassed, angry, mad.”

My counter to my own critiques kicked in.  “But, these are my Father’s words.  They mean everything.  The original could be right there.  I could find it.  I could have it.”

Thus, there in lay where my heart was.  I had to find them.  I had to keep going.

And then another thought hit me. 

“It’s like the Father’s words.  God’s word is that valuable too.”

His word is so vital to our lives, it is where one should stop at nothing to seek, find and apply it, writing it on each of our hearts, “for it will prolong your days,” Deut. 5:33.

Then, other cases began to formulate: 

--We are God’s treasured children.  What are we doing in the trash? 

Why do we find ourselves rummaging through filth to find the things that we need to let go of and move forward without?   

We should not volitionally put ourselves into the trash of sin where we will could impact or destroy part of or all of our lives.

--Life has a way of throwing trash at us.  Precious items, like my napkin, represent seasons in our life or people/things/dreams of value that are lost.    How will we respond? 

-- Maybe sometimes we are called to go to the filthy parts of our communities or the world to minister to others who have not heard the hope that we know.  Maybe we are called to go into the trash, just like Christ did to find His treasure.

Above all?  Christ came from the Heavens to Earth (which in comparison could be a trashball) where we reside in filthy sins day in and day out.  We, you and me, were that important to Him that He drew us out of our crimson stain and washed us white as snow.  He gave us His perfect word, for us to seek to instruct our lives and to use to continually draw us closer to Him.

The clash of all these thoughts kept my brain going as the hope of finding this napkin kept me digging and digging.

I finally got to the bottom of the barrel.  Nothing.  I went back through my piles of separated napkins and trash just to check again.  I found a pen similar to the one Dad used.  

Then, a napkin with pen on it…. 

Oh my gosh!!!  

Could it be?

I investigated further, but sadly, it was not the one I was looking for. 

And that was the last of it.  No more trash.  No more rubbage.  No napkin to be found.

The uppity waiter returned.  “Told you wouldn’t find it.”

“I know,” I replied.  “But it was worth the search.  Now I know that I did what I could and I can walk in peace.”

I thanked everyone profusely and left.  I didn’t smell great.  I also tried to avoid walking past the store for the rest of the trip.

I never told my Dad what had occurred that day.   Hopefully, none of the restaurant staff will either. 

But I know what I have hidden in my heart.  A drawn memory of the route my Father took and the words of my Father in Heaven.   Both are that important.  

Both are worth the search through the trash to find them.

Dad and Me along the shores of Southern California, 2014.
© Candice Irion

Copy and Photograph © Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.