It’s Time to Face the Music: It’s Time to Take the Dog to the Vet

I’ll cut right to the chase.  There are certain issues that I don’t like to face head on-- or at all.  But, when the issue hoists itself right in front of you with no leaving in sight, the time has come.  The issue must be dealt with.

I’ve finally come to the point where I have to take my doggie, Nala, to the doctor.  

Every now and then, she gets this limp in her front left paw.  She hasn’t sprained, broken or hurt it.  It’s just for some reason or another, it affects her for a few days then passes.  That’s not the case now.  Her limp has now lasted for three weeks.  I was hoping after two it would be gone, which is the longest it would have ever been around.  Last week, it looked like it was getting better.  So we decided to give it one more week.  But it is still here.

Then, a few days ago, I discovered a mass on Nala’s back left thigh.  A mass?  It just swelled out of nowhere.  We reasoned that maybe it was a result of Nala’s limp and the extra strain on her other legs.  We hoped that would go away.  It’s gone down, but it’s still there too.

So, I made the appointment.  It was time.  And I have to say, I’m nervous about the issue.  I’m nervous of the cost.  I’m nervous of the road ahead.  I’m nervous for my poor Nala….

She’s such a sweet dog.  Sometimes I call her “Mama Nala” for she loves to give her big sister kisses, loves to cuddle up next to you and if you are sad, she knows it.  She is a caretaker. She’s the type who just wants to sit in your lap and is completely content doing so. 

Ever since the day I met her, that’s just how she was.  

I also call her “My Little Shadow” because she walks alongside me everywhere.  Many others have their own names for Nala, although, they are not so nice because they make fun of her for being shy and a chicken at times, especially when the Hispanic kitty took a swipe at her.  Nala is also not your “hey look at me” pretty poster dog.  But, for all the rumples on the outside, it’s the looks that she gives you that melt your heart.  She loves to love and she loves well. For all of her, I just love her. 

I think God sees us in the same way too. 

“We love Him because He first loved us,” (1 John 4:19 NKJV).

"They will be my people and I will be their God," (Jeremiah 32:38, NIV).

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. 

As it is, you do not belong to the world, 

but I have chosen you out of the world,” (John 15:19, NIV). 

God loves us for all of our good and our bad; He loves our pretty parts and even loves us in our ugly ones too.  He loves our ugly because we are His. 

Which brings me to our ugly sides.  It seems that we are all ugly in many ways: inside, outside, in our heads, in our hearts.  All of us have hurts, wounds, scars, shame.  We all have moments of glorious victory from what drags us down, but then somehow we find ourselves off the band wagon and back into the pit from which God drug us.  Low-points hit us at the most unguarded moment, which is probably why they got us.  My ugly recently got the better side of me too.

After a heated argument, I found myself in a place I haven’t been for years.  I found myself thinking things that I thought were long gone.   I still feel remorse for things I said, did… but especially, for what I thought about myself.  I look back and wonder: how did I get back here?  

It’s no secret that I’m a perfectionist.  I’m a Type-A, overachiever, over-responsible, detail and deadline driven firstborn that won’t let a ball drop.  When there is a problem, I over analyze every statement, situation and solution.  The key word here is: over.

So when it comes to blame, my perfectionist default setting is to over-blame myself.  A few years past, this destructive thinking near killed me.  While I was continually taking on more than my fair share of the blame, another also played into this vortex by constantly heaping every bit of the wrong done in the relationship onto me.  As if that wasn’t enough, they soon rejected and abandoned me.  I became incredibly stuck on this fault line that I “clearly” caused and pretty much wanted to die.  At the time, there was no way I could see through this spell-bounding whirlwind of blame, for my perfectionistic perspective was playing every hand possible to make me believe that everything was, in fact, all my fault. Whew! Can you say dizzy? Those were some really hard times and it took the divine hand of God to pull me out.

I then diligently installed boundaries around this thinking with hopes of never revisiting it again.  And I didn't... for a very... long... while...  But then, out of nowhere, SLAM! I got sucker punched.  This type of thinking crouched right at my doorstep just waiting for that instant when I let my guard down.  Then, BAM! BAM! BAM! Down the blame-perfectionaist spiral I go.  AGH!!! I feel like I’ve been sober for years, only to have fallen off the band wagon.  My fall really hurt too. 

On one side of the matter, I’m really thankful that we can never fall so far that we are out of the hands of grace.  For God’s hands of grace are always there to lift us back up.  Boy, do I ever need that! But on another side, I’m starting to see that I’m almost no different than Nala with her limp and mass.  Looking at it from a figurative approach, I had to wonder if I am also walking on three legs with a growing mass??

An answer soon came in another conversation about Nala where my husband restated that Nala's mass is likely an inflammation due to her over-compensation as she walks on three legs instead of four.   Internally, I went: “Hm”.  There is that word again: “over.”

Am I over-compensating? The puzzle piece fit quite nicely because by nature, I am also people pleaser.  By trying to solve everyone else's blame by fixing myself, I spin my wheels over and over in my attempts to be perfect while completely denying the fact that perfectionism in myself is unattainable. I then go further in these futile attempts, getting so bogged down trying to get the world to be satisfied and having matters settled.  I just like wrapping a bow on things and knowing the case is closed.

But, that’s not always life.  Sometimes, it seldom is.  Life is messy!  Bows are ripped up!  Debris is everywhere!  So, I’ve had to learn that people pleasing can’t always happen.  Perfectionism can't either.  Furthermore, I can’t live and breathe for another to be pleased. I can't live to be perfect for them. I can't hoist their blame on me in hopes to make it all better.  Linking my identity to pleasing the world and being perfect is like signing up for the kiss of death.  I just can’t do it.

So, in my recent sucker punch of spell-bounding thoughts of perfectionistic blame and over-compensation, I muddled through much mire.  But, then something happened as the Holy Spirit ushered in these words: 

“What made you think this is all your fault anyway?” 

Suddenly, the tornado inside stopped.  It’s like the moment Christ calmed the raging waves and winds.  Instantly, there was a hush and all was still.

©McNaughton Fine Art, American Art Gallery

Those words continue to circulate through my mind.  What started this mess anyway? Where in the world did I start thinking that everything was all my fault?  I don't really know, but what I have surmised is that I'm limping around and it's high time that I walk.  

This makes me wonder how often we all walk around with three legs instead of four. (Well, it's really two legs since we are technically human, but you get my point.)  Also like Nala, we’ve probably gotten really good at compensating the difference and probably have potentially forgotten what it is like to even have all our legs working.  Because somehow, we've subconsciously made choices to over-compensate so that we could avoid getting to the real issue.  And it’s when something else occurs, like Nala’s mass, that the red signal is thrown up and the issue blares with alarm to be addressed.

Why do we do this?  Maybe the pain at the time seems too tough to bear.  Or maybe, we are nervous about the costs, the road ahead, what it will do to the relationship.  Or, in my case, could it be that the issue forces us to realize that we are not perfect? 

And bonus, not only does the issue force us to realize it, but we are forced accept it.  These steps also involve forgiveness for oneself and if you have difficulty doing this, welcome to the club.  We almost need a creed to help us cope. 

In fact, let us make a creed now. How about trying this on for size:

• I can no longer walk around with a limp like a pup on three legs. 
• I have to accept ownership for what is actually my doing while refusing to heap everyone else’s responsibilities on my back.
• I have to accept that I am not perfect, but I know the One who is. 
• I have to accept that I AM HUMAN.  This means there will be mess-ups, blunders, catastrophic bad choices, blame and fault. 
• I have to address issues head on and also forgive myself with the same grace God gives.
• I must quit over analyzing and over+whatever and move the heck on.
• But even in my mistakes, I must remember that there is One who won’t leave me.  
• For I am guilty BUT pardoned.  I am, by nature, NOT perfect, but in Christ MADE perfect with His forgiveness.

Let's say it together: We all make mistakes.  We all mess up.  Everyone is at fault.  Everyone falls short.  Why? BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HUMAN!  And the good news is… God is NOT!

So, no matter what the issue is, take action.  Let us take our problem to the Great Physician knowing that it is high time to take our dogs(or problem) to the vet.  Granted, the issue may not just poof! go away.  But in time, the issue will progress.   And at some point, we’ll have to do our own deep dives into our soul and accept for ourselves that we are not perfect, giving glory to God that He is and His mercy is new every morning, (Lamentations 3:22-23).  

Blog content and photographs © 2013 Candice Irion.  All rights reserved.

Artwork © McNaughton Fine Art, American Art Gallery.

P.S.... Listen to "Great is They Faithfulness" below if you are needing to feel a little "new every morning" today.

More SQUIRREL! Moments: Defying the Hunt of Distraction

I'm trying to read my Bible this morning when I find a picture stuffed in it.  The photo reminds me of someone dear to me who is going through a hard time.  I suddenly find myself lassoed in emotions, thoughts, what I want to say, what I can't say.  My heart races.  My anger swirls and soon enough I'm gone.  I'm right in the eye of an emotional tornado looking out onto the farmlands of my life saying: "How did I get here?"

EVER FEEL LIKE THIS IS YOUR LIFE??

© Brandon Jennings Photography.  All Rights Reserved.

I then realize I'm caught up in a SQUIRREL! Moment.  

Just like my pups (in yesterday's blog), I realize that, once again, I've been chased by another squirrel of distraction and soon caught in another whirlwind of emotions.  "Where has my mind gone?" I wonder. 

Ok. Maintain focus. Resume Bible reading.  

Then POUND! POUND! POUND! The thoughts bang through the door of my focus.  Distraction has hunted me down once more.  I try to tell them go away, but all to quickly, I'm caught up once more.

AGH!!!!

I know you've been there before.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  Yes? Please say yes!

Then, I read a response to yesterday's blog from Aunt Sandy:  

One of my favorite versus is Hebrews 12: 1 & 2.  When we finally set aside all the things that encumber us to run the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, then the squirrels don't look so inviting. 

****BINGO!****  

Thanks Aunt Sandy.  I needed that.


So, once more, I press reset and instead of attempting to stuff all those thoughts in a closet and shove the door closed as hard as I can, (but it still doesn't close), I turn them over to God in prayer.  

God, thank you that I can come to you.  

You know my anxious thoughts.  You know my concern, all the hard feelings, the things I don't understand and the host of emotions I have on this matter.  Help this matter.  Help this person.  Give me the strength to back off.  This between you and that person and the journey you have for them.  Let me not touch it anymore.  

It's in your hands, not mine! 

In your name, Amen.

Ahhhh! That feels better.

Finally, the fluster of thoughts and emotions die down. 


Hopefully, for a while. 
But, likely for a moment.  


And when the Squirrels of Distraction raise their ugly head once again, I'll yet again turn them over to prayer, knowing that it's ultimately the Father's job to enable the person to come back to Him and His ways, for His salvation and maturity, (John 6:65).  I'll preach to my own choir and re-read my own words to an earlier blog this week: "Unless the Father Has Enabled Them."


So, one squirrel down, many more to come.  

© Brandon Jennings Photography.  All Rights Reserved.

But, with each squirrel, I'll get better at fighting the distraction, will be able to maintain my stance stronger and ultimately, will be able to stay the course, fixating my eyes on Jesus, focusing on the path He has for me.  

Today's images are courtesy of:  

Brandon is an awesome photographer.  Check out his website here! 

You can also purchase these images on iStock.  Click the links below or on the photos themselves.

Squirrel iStock link: http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-281794-squirrel-up-close.php?st=41b1664

Tornado iStock Video link: http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-video-12620007-rotating-tornado-cloud-formation.php?st=41b1664

Blog Copy Content © Candice Irion 2013, with special thanks to Aunt Sandy for her contribution!! It inspired me to write today's message(: 

The Squirrels are Out Today

We have some crazy squirrels around here.  Crazy is actually an understatement.  Possessed.  We have possessed squirrels around here.

Today I watched a squirrel do a high back flip on the fence line just to show off in front of my dogs.  This is gold medal Olympic type stuff, I tell you.   Then, on the other side of the yard, it’s teammate scuttles ferociously up the tree.  On the back fence line, in more trees, the squirrels were literally moving the branches apart.

Ok, maybe the last sentence was more the wind than the squirrels, but you get the message.  The squirrels here are of a different kind and it drives my dogs nuts!!!

Check out the fence line watch…

Then they go across the yard. Back and forth.  Side to side.  Here and there.  Everywhere!  My two pups were scrambling all over the yard just to keep up with the gang of squirrels whose sole mission seemed to be to keep the dogs running.  

The squirrel gang must have been laughing it up hard.  Seriously.  And since my beagle is nicknamed “Houdini” for every reason associated to that name, I had to keep careful watch.  If there is a hole, she’ll find it.  If there is a fence, she’ll scale it.  If there is a place to dig (thanks to my other dog, her co-hort), she’ll dig it.  I recently found my beagle underneath the deck digging.  Thank goodness the rope was tied to her harness so I could drag her out! 

It’s like my Houdini sees a fence line and zap! there she goes.   It’s like she lives for the fence line.  She knows better too.  But, she can’t resist sniffing out some trouble and rolling all over in it.  Her nose gets her every time.  It’s in her blood. 

So when the squirrels issued out this morning’s conspiracy to distract Houdini away from her sunlit yard, they achieved their goal.  I’m thankful I was with her to call her away from the fence line and keep her protected.  Otherwise…. she’d be out of her safe zone in a millisecond.

But, as I watched my little Houdini zing back and forth, I imagined that we humans are very much like her.  Distracted we go, bouncing between one thing to another. Then, all to quickly, the sin, or the thing that drags us down, yanks the chain out from underneath us and down we go, drowning us in our own misstep. 

I think about God standing there watching this game of chase.  He watches sin toss us back and forth and all to often He calls our name out, hoping for our return to our sunlit yards.  But will we go?

You know, beagles are infamous for their stubbornness and obstinantence.  The German form of the English name “beagle,” is “begele”, which literally means “to scold”.  Us humans are so similar.  We here the Spirit calling: “Get away from there”… “Stop!” but we think that we’ll be ok and proceed.  Ha! Fat chance we’ll be ok!  Since when did our modal of thinking become where we knew all and could make a wise choice?  No! Our thinking is linear, step-by-step.  That’s why we have the Word, to impact our step-by-step thinking, to give us a more non-linear view.  Paul says that we have been given the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16)… so if that is the case, then why don’t we listen?

Duality.  Just as we have the Spirit in us, we still are at war with our flesh, (Gal. 5:17).  Just like a rubber band pulling apart, so does the Spirit and the flesh, for the flesh is hostile to God and the things of God.  Let’s just admit it: Sin is just in our blood.  The Spirit, on the other hand, wants to congeal with God and cover our sinful blood.  So who wins?   

The choice is yours. 

“ See, today I have set before you life and prosperity, death and adversity,” (Deut. 30:15, HCSB).

And not only is the entire chapter of Deuteronomy 30 a key pivot point, but bonus, you get the answer too. 

“…therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days,” (Deut. 30:19b-20a, NKJV).

Check out these other poignant Scriptures that also help confirm the answer.

“Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them,” (Deut. 28:14, NIV). 

“So be careful to do what the LORD your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left,” (Deut. 5:32, NIV).

“Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you,” (Prov. 4:25-26, NASB).

 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead,” (Deut. 11:18, NASB).

“Choose life,” (Deut. 30:19b).

Friends, living out of the flesh is so much easier, but so much more costly.  In addition, getting on the fast track to destruction is oddly simple.  Here’s what you do: make every decision out of what you want to do or what feels good to you.  Live at the fence line.  Run back and forth.  Follow every squirrel.  Succumb to every distraction.  Then, you are all set.  Your bags are packed and you are headed for wherever the wind blows you.  After all, that’s how the world does it. But…. we know how that ends. 

However, if you choose to walk a different path, one lead by the Spirit, it is not going to be easy, but it will be essential.  This doesn’t mean the winds won’t blow.  In fact, they’ll blow harder.  But instead of being tossed around, you’ll be steady like a rock.  In choosing life, your mind will become centered from the eternal perspective, from a non-linear view.  You’ll make your choices out of where the Spirit leads, through confirmation in the Scriptures and with the peace of God on your side. The squirrels of distractions will definitely conspire against you.  They’ll stir the pot.  They’ll make things go harder, faster; debris will fly everywhere.  The winds will be like a tornado to blow you and your house down.  But between the Holy Spirit and God’s word, you’ll be able to resist.  You will be able to stand.  You will be able to walk forward, and hopefully, with your little dog too.  This is what Christ preached (sans the pup) and we all know how that ends as well.

So, if there is anything I can say, it’s this: life at the fence line is short term invigorating but long term debilitating.  Our God is constantly at the helm calling you away and it is in your best interest to go back to the middle of the yard and bask in His sunlight.  There you’ll find fruit, nourishment and rest, a.k.a. all that you need.

But, no matter what you choose, know that our God is with you wherever you go. Just like my Houdini.  She may drive me bonkers with her digging and antics, but she’s still mine.  I’m not going inside knowing she could disappear in an instant.  Our God won’t leave you ever; not for nothing.  Not even in your own sin.  Course, this isn’t permission to sin.  Heavens no!  It’s just saying that even when you live in sin, you aren’t abandoned.  You may be far from the yard of His choice, but you can always turn home. 

That makes me think of the best moments of all.  It’s when my little Houdini decides on her own to come home and cuddle up next to me.  But even when she is obstinate and disobedient, causing me to fetch her from back fence, it still feels good to have my precious pup in my arms once more.  Though I might be angry, my love still abounds as I hoist her in my arms and carry her home.  After all, it is out of my love that I went to go get her in the first place.  And that’s exactly what God feels for you too.

The squirrels on the other hand….  well, the ones around here might just be of the devil.  And like the prince of this world, I guess the squirrels are just apart of our lives.  It’s learning how to deal with these squirrels that will get us the furthest and keep us in the will of God versus outside it.

The Straight Path

A letter from God to His child Solomon

My son, pay attention to my words;
listen closely to my sayings

Don’t lose sight of them; keep them within your heart.

For they are life to those who find them,
and health to one’s whole body.

Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.

Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly,
and don’t let your lips talk deviously.

Let your eyes look forward;
fix your gaze straight ahead.

Carefully consider the pat for your feet,
and all your ways will be established.

Don’t turn to the right or to the left;
keep your feet away from evil.

~Proverbs 4:20-27, HCSB

Other Scriptures References:

Deuteronomy 4:9

“Only be on your guard and diligently watch yourselves, so that you don’t forget the things your eyes have seen and so that they don’t slip from your mind as long as you live,” (HCSB).

Deuteronomy 4:23-24

“Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that He made with you, and make an idol for yourselves in the shape of anything He has forbidden you. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God,” (HCSB).

Deuteronomy 4:31

"He will not leave you, destroy you, or forget the covenant with your fathers that He swore to them by oath, because the Lord your God is a compassionate God."

Blog Entry Copy, Photography and Video © 2013 Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.

Scripture passages are referenced above.