Friday, January 24, 2014

Letting the Heck Go: It will be ok.


Isn’t the act of letting go one of the hardest aspects of life and the lessons we learn? Ugh!  Just getting to the shoreline of saying “OK” and surrendering what our tight fists hang onto is sometimes insurmountable.

But insurmountable isn’t impossible.  

God is walking me through a season of letting go.  It started with going through a series of life transitions and having to go through tons of stuff from my past.  Here, I came upon the realization that I am, indeed, a hoarder.   I hate to admit this as I’ve happily ignored people’s comments for years.   But, alas, they are right.   I don’t like to let things go.

For one, I’m a resourceful person.  I find purpose for items beyond their primary intended use.  So when it is time to throw something away because it no longer serves its initial purpose, I generally keep it because I can use it for something else.

Secondly, I’m as sentimental as they come.  This means every ticket stub, gum wrapper or note is kept in a special box for years.  I guarantee that the majority of the time I’ll remember exactly where the piece came from and enjoy the memories.   It drives others crazy.  It makes me blissfully content. 

But when it comes to people, especially if they are headed in the wrong direction, my hoarding goes by the way side and over-protecting goes into full swing.   I tend to hang on too long in hopes that things will shift the other way.  This gets me in more trouble than it proves to work out. 

How about you?  Do you have a loved one that is making choices that are beyond the protective boundaries of our Christian faith, ethics or morality? Or is there a matter that has come in between you and another that you can’t seem to drop?  I know the feeling!

Holding back the reigns of over-stepping and allowing God do what He needs to do is insanely hard.  Why is this?  We are not their Holy Spirit.  There is only One.   We are not their Savior.  There is only One.  It is God who is orchestrating their testimony, their story.  How can we even try to mess with it?  We all have had our bottom of barrel moments where God rescued us from the depths, which may have been one of our closest times with our Savoir.  Why would we try to interfere with another’s? 

Coming around this mountain yet again (we humans normally have to take several trips around the same dang mountain, don’t we?)  I have found that letting go is a GODLY principle.   Yes.   Both Ps. 81:12 and Romans 1:21 discuss that when people refuse His way that He lets their stubborn hearts go to their own devices.   Christ did the same thing in John 6:60-70.  Where in a moment, He, who has the ability to say exactly the right thing that would have lead the people leaving the faith to return, KEPT QUIET.  He let them go.   In Ezekiel 33: 7-9 God points out that the responsibility of heeding instruction falls upon the receiver, not the giver. 

I’m at the point of struggling so much with letting people go to their own devices (because the mother hen in me wants to save them from future despair) that I have to surmise that it is only in God’s power that I’ll find the ability to let go.   Just like finding strength in Him to forgive another, I need to depend on that same power to allow a person to go. 

Granted, the people I’m talking about are capable of making their own choices.  They aren’t disabled or in state, condition or at an age where they are unable to decide on their own.   No.   They are in fact grown and have a full mind to reason and live their life.  It is there God given choice.  Who am I to take that away? 

Child rearing crosses some of these lines as well.   There are far too many points of instruction where a child must learn that there are consequences to their actions and it is the parent’s responsibility to let the child experience what they need to (within reason) so they can implement the same in life. 

So, after these evaluations, I took a deep dive and asked myself questions on why I couldn’t let this person/matter go.  I feel that God’s Spirit prompted me with a couple of stepping stones that you might find helpful as well.

1.  What do I fear?
2.  Who do I trust?

What do I fear?  I fear a person getting so far down the wrong path that they won’t be able to turn back.  I fear that they may hurt so deeply from self inflicted stupidity that they will be at the bottom of the barrel and encounter tons of pain.  

I’ve encountered pain of my own doing and pain of another’s.  Either way, I don’t wish that on anyone.  It’s hell!

Then, a sub-question arose.  What is my belief on pain?  Pain is awful!!!  Sheer horribleness of every degree- especially when it could be avoided.

But isn’t pain also a teaching tool?  Isn’t it where God meets us every single time?  How sweet are the Scriptures that says a person cried out and God heard them?  How cherished are those moments where we remember crying out and having the Creator of the Universe love us so much to step in?  Thus, pain has its benefit too, for it is here that we find grace.  We find mercy.  We find love.

Look at the story of the Prodigal; one of the most exalted passages focused on God bringing a stubborn child home.  Doesn’t that passage describe both you and I and is it possibly one of the most meaningful and relatable passages we have?

Let’s face it.  We are humans who fall short constantly.  We need these passages.  We need to know that in light of our failures, there is a saving hand there for us.  We need to know the God who stands with us in our pain.   This is how we come to fully experience and know grace, mercy, forgiveness, and hope for ourselves because with God, pain will be used for good.  We can trust this because we can trust God.

After all, things turned out ok for Paul, didn’t they?  Wasn’t he the dude on the rampage murdering Christians?  Wasn’t he the ferocious guy who was wicked and cruel? God work things out for Paul, in spite of Paul’s actions, didn’t He?  Yes, He did.  Course, we in our super-ego human minds might say Paul was on the wrong path.  But, from a spiritual mindset, seeing how God works all things together for the good of who He’s called for His purposes (Rom. 8:28), we could also say that Paul was where he was supposed to be all along.   This was, after all, God’s story of how Paul came to salvation.  It is how God choose to demonstrate that He can take the most vile and make them an apostle.  My goodness, how that story has ministered to countless other sinister souls and brought them to faith!  Thus, we must trust God’s story above what we dictate is bad and let go so grace can do the dirty work.  

Next question.

Who do I trust?  Honestly speaking, isn’t our default that we trust ourselves more than anyone, even more than God?  Many times don’t our actions prove that we trust our timing and what we think is best more so than our Savior?  Yuuup! 

Last time I checked, it was God’s timing that was and still is perfect.  It is His hand that is capable to save, not ours.  It is His voice that can say the right thing at the right time in the right tone.  Again, not ours.

So, friend, while we aim to save our loved one from themselves, only our Savior can do that.   We should just chill out and realize we have to let folks go.  We have to get out of the way and trust that God will find them on their path.   He knows right where they are much more than we ever could, because He understands their heart.  He created them.  He knows what to do. 

Let us also remember that this is HIS story of HIS salvation for HIS chosen ones.  Let us trust Him far above ourselves and get the heck out of the way.   Incidentally, we ought to refocus our saving tactics on our own selves.

Pause. 

I wonder…

What are others having to tell me fifty million times that I’ve developed a stubborn or callous heart too? 

What are others having struggle to let go of because I simply won’t listen, heed and act? 

What have I ignored?

Hm.

Like a download on a computer, my laundry list of items adds up surprisingly fast.   The old take the log out of your own eye principle, I suppose.

And as I refocus my efforts on my own stubbornness and let go of others, I find that I have the mind-space to tackle these issues.   Kinda like spring cleaning in a way. 

I guess that is why the hoarding of things or thoughts can be so debilitating for it builds “stuff” up in our minds, hearts and homes.  We get so cluttered with other’s situations, that we can’t see the real issues in our own lives which could reap destruction if not taken care of now. 

So, take heart.  God is at work in your life.  Let go.  Let Him.  Refocus on your log.  And remember… what seems insurmountable is not impossible with God.

© Candice Irion.  All Rights Reserved.

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