Day 7 v2012 Weathering the Weather

I woke up this morning considering my long suffering struggle I've had since I've started writing this screenplay.  It's been hard to make it happen.  Closed doors.  Dis-interest.  People who make promises they don't keep.  As anyone would, I've questioned weather this is supposed to happen or not. More importantly, I've often said that if this didn't become a film and I didn't do this, then I would feel like I've buried my talent and not done what I've been responsible to do.
This morning, something clicked and the thorn in my thinking has finally been pushed out.  I'm only responsible to be obedient everyday to the the tasks God has given to me.  I'm not responsible for "Making it happen".  Who am I to fluff out my feathers and say "I can make it happen." Bull! (Or in Paul's day, "by no means").  Only God makes it happen.
But I knew that.  I knew it would be God doing this not me.  So why do I feel a sense of freedom from this weight I've felt?  I think because I have no clue how it's all going to come together, but that's in God's hands, whatever happens.  My responsibility is to be diligent to do what He has laid on my heart to do.  I'm not responsible for making it rain, nor can I.  What ever made me think I could?
Unfortunately, I believe us humans become supercharged when we sit in the driver's seat and see things come alive before our eyes.  Then, we have this sense of depression when what our hands try to do something and it doesn't work out.  It's summed up in a little word we call pride.  I hate to admit it, but it's probably true.
I've come to a point in my life where I wonder is there only one purpose for me?  Is there this life that I'm supposed to be living that hasn't come to fruition and is only in "Candice dreamworld"?  I think after my lay-off from my job, and lack of being able to get my screenplay further than development, I've been hard pressed to figure out my purpose and what my hands are to do in this world.
I work incredibly hard on projects and seem to put that above everything.  My parents round the clock work ethics are surely inherited, and that's not a bad thing.  But it can be when your relationships suffer.  Especially those closest to you.
We have gifts in this world and they are called our families, our spouses, our friends, our pets.  "Where your treasure there is your heart also," and so in lays our time.  Maybe we spend tons of time working.. for what? For our families, for ourselves, both?  Work is our God given duty to do.  But when we start taking that work for our own purposes, to bring satisfaction to ourselves, instead of being satisfied with Him alone... it's a different story.
Don't get me wrong.  He's also blessed us with the satisfaction of our work... but it's because of what He does with it; how He's brought things together; and it's His gift of grace that we can even be satisfied in the work of our hands.
All this to say what?  He alone makes us satisfied.  He alone will bring what He has called together.  He will make it happen.  Our responsibility is to seek to glorify Him alone.  Our responsibility is to be obedient everyday no matter what the outcome is or isn't.  Whatever happens... He will do as He sees fit.
So, I thank God for the freedom to figure things out.  To fail.  To succeed.  I thank God for the freedom to realize that I'm really not carrying this desire, because it's not.  It's all Him and I can rest in that alone.
So, my task today? To make follow-up calls for the screenplay, finish edits and get my website chugging along.
Thanks for reading.
"²⁰ Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, ²¹ being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised," Romans 4:20-21.